Crybaby!!

Busy day today,

1.school
2.had to bring&get my dog from the vet,just got castrated(so he's wearing a lamp and looking awfully sleepy)
3.had to get groceries
4.got a haircut
5.have to study a big test for tommorrow
6.in 2 more hours i have to go to my soccer practice.

not much time for jsp today,afk to studying.

my new haircut>>????

I think you should make another video

spam

more tax dollars at work i see

Things to do when bored in an elevator

When there’s only one other person in the elevator, tap them on the shoulder and then pretend it wasn’t you.
Push the buttons and pretend they give you a shock. Smile, and go back for more.
Call the Psychic Hotline from your cell phone and ask if they know what floor you’re on.
Swat at flies that don’t exist.
Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering, “Shut up, all of you, just shut up!”
Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask, “Got enough air in there?”
Lay down a Twister mat and ask people if they’d like to play.
Leave a box in the corner, and when someone gets on, ask them if they hear something ticking.
Ask if you can push the button for other people, but push the wrong ones.
Pretend you are a flight attendant and review emergency procedures and exits with the passengers.
Stand silently and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
Stare, grinning at another passenger for a while, and then announce, “I have new socks on.”
Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and announce to the other passengers, “This is my personal space!”
Fart loudly then exclaim “Was that you. There’s no way I could do that one because unfortately mine don’t come out loud.”
Before the elevator door opens shout “DING” and then laugh and say “beat you again Mr Elevator.”
Stand really close to someone, sniffing them occasionally.
Hire a labrador, wear sunglasses and repeatedly walk into the walls whilst pretending to not hear the other passenger’s direction.
Drop a pen and wait until someone reaches to help pick it up, then scream, “that’s mine!”
Hold the doors open and say you’re waiting for your friend. After a while, let the doors close and say, “Hi Greg. How’s your day been?”
Stare at another passenger for a while, then announce in horror, “You’re one of THEM!” and back away slowly.

cut the spam here

+1

How To Shower Like a Woman
> > **
> > Take off clothes and place them sectioned in laundry**
> > basket according to lights and darks.
> >
> > Walk to bathroom wearing long dressing gown.
> >
> > If you see husband along the way, cover up any exposed
> > areas.*
> > *Look at your womanly physique in the mirror - make mental
> > note to
> > do more sit-ups / leg-lifts, etc.
> >
> > Get in the shower.
> >
> > Use face cloth, arm cloth, leg cloth, long loofah, wide
> > loofah and pumice
> > stone.
> >
> > Wash your hair once with cucumber and sage shampoo with 43
> > added vitamins..
> >
> > Wash your hair again to make sure it's clean.
> >
> > Condition your hair with grapefruit mint conditioner
> > enhanced.*
> > *Wash your face with crushed apricot facial scrub for 10
> > minutes until red..
> >
> > Wash entire rest of body with ginger nut and jaffa cake
> > body wash. Rinse
> > conditioner off hair.
> >
> > Shave armpits and legs.
> >
> > Turn off shower.
> >
> > Squeegee off all wet surfaces in shower.
> >
> > Spray mold spots with Tile cleaner.
> >
> > Get out of shower.
> >
> > Dry with towel the size of a small country.
> >
> > Wrap hair in super absorbent towel.
> >
> > Return to bedroom wearing long dressing gown and towel on
> > head. If you see
> > partner along the way, cover up any exposed areas.*
> >
> > *
> >
> >
> >
> > How To Shower Like a Man
> > **
> >
> >
> > Take off clothes while sitting on the edge of the bed and
> > leave them in a
> > pile.
> >
> > Walk naked to the bathroom.
> >
> > If you see partner along the way, shake willy at her making
> > the 'woo-woo'
> > sound.
> >
> > Look at your manly physique in the mirror.
> >
> > Admire the size of your willy and scratch your bum.
> >
> > Get in the shower.
> >
> > Wash your face.
> >
> > Wash your armpits.
> >
> > Blow your nose in your hands and let the water rinse them
> > off. Fart and
> > laugh at how loud it sounds in the shower.
> >
> > Spend majority of time washing privates and surrounding
> > area. Wash your bum,
> > leaving those coarse bum hairs stuck on the soap.
> >
> > Wash your hair.
> >
> > Make a Shampoo Mohican
> >
> > Wee.
> >
> > Rinse off and get out of shower.
> >
> > Partially dry off.
> >
> > Fail to notice water on floor because curtain was hanging
> > out of bath the
> > whole time.
> >
> > Admire willy size in mirror again.
> >
> > Leave shower curtain open, wet mat on floor, light and fan
> > on. Return to
> > bedroom with towel around waist.
> >
> > If you pass partner, pull off towel, shake willy at her and
> > make the
> > 'woo-woo' sound again.
> >
> > Throw wet towel on bed.
> >
> > I KNOW YOU'RE LAUGHING BECAUSE IT'S TRUE!!!!!!
> >
> > PASS THIS ON TO SOMEONE WHO NEEDS CHEERING UP, AS THIS WILL
> > DO IT.*

Dear American liberals, leftists, social progressives, socialists,
Marxists and Obama supporters, et al:

We have stuck together since the late 1950's, but the whole of this latest
election process has made me realize that I want a divorce. I know we
tolerated each other for many years for the sake of future generations, but
sadly, this relationship has run its course. Our two ideological sides of
America cannot and will not ever agree on what is right so let's just end
it
on friendly terms. We can smile and chalk it up to irreconcilable
differences and go our own way. Here is a model separation agreement:

Our two groups can equitably divide up the country by landmass each
taking a portion. That will be the difficult part, but I am sure our two
sides can come to a friendly agreement. After that, it should be relatively
easy! Our respective representatives can effortlessly divide other assets
since both sides have such distinct and disparate tastes. We don't like
redistributive taxes so you can keep them. You are welcome to the liberal
judges and the ACLU. Since you hate guns and war, we'll take our firearms,
the cops, the NRA and the military.
You can keep Oprah, Michael Moore and Rosie O'Donnell (You are, however,
responsible for finding a bio-diesel vehicle big enough to move all three of
them).

We'll keep the capitalism, greedy corporations, pharmaceutical
companies, Wal-Mart and Wall Street. You can have your beloved homeless,
homeboys, hippies and illegal aliens. We'll keep the hot Alaskan hockey
moms, greedy CEO's and rednecks. We'll keep the Bibles and give you NBC
and
Hollywood.

You can make nice with Iran and Palestine and we'll retain the right
to
invade and hammer places that threaten us. You can have the peaceniks and
war protesters. When our allies or our way of life are under assault, we'll
help provide them security.

We'll keep our Judeo-Christian values.. You are welcome to Islam,
Scientology, Humanism and Shirley McClain. You can also have the U.N., but
we will no longer be paying the bill.

We'll keep the SUVs, pickup trucks and oversized luxury cars. You can
take every Subaru station wagon you can find.

You can give everyone healthcare if you can find any practicing doctors.
We'll continue to believe healthcare is a luxury and not a right. We'll
keep
The Battle Hymn of the Republic and the National Anthem. I'm sure
you'll be
happy to substitute Imagine, I'd Like to Teach the World to Sing Kum Ba Ya
,
or We Are the World .

We'll practice trickle down economics and you can give trickle up
poverty your best shot. Since it often so offends you, we'll keep our
history, our name and our flag.

Would you agree to this? If so, please pass it along to other like
minded liberal and conservative patriots and if you do not agree, just hit
delete. In the spirit of friendly parting, we can wager a bet on which one
of us will need whose help in 15 years.

Sincerely,

John J. Wall, Law Student, and an American

P. S. Also, you can have Barbara Streisand & Jane Fonda.

Well i havent been on much cause my bros gf is always on when i get home and today is my buddies bday but i might be on later (dont hold your breath) and GL w/ the slashing