poems be fo bitches lol

so when do I get paid since you might or might not get laid

ok this is what happening,

my parents are out with family friends, and theyll be back any minute so i need your help

see, i volunteer on my sister's softball team (im 22 the girls are 15)

and whatever, i met this girl, her name is Alison, and were going out for a while. We have a lot in common, and sometimes i help her with homework. i helped her with her english essay and she still got a D... this is because her teacher is a prick... anywayz

so she came over like an hour ago, and i really want to lose my virginity, so i ask her to have sex

"no no i cant, its not right" she said, but i told her "dont worry, i know what im doing, ill be done in like 10 seconds, plus ill give you 2 n64 games if you say yes."

So then I gave her Diddy Kong Racing and Ken Griffy Jr. Baseball and we went up to my room. she is a bit confused and scared.

then i think to myself- yo i need lube, right? cuz i heard other people saying you need to lube up her clit otherwise it wont fit in properly.

ok so i have no lube, but i really want to lose my virginity, so i grab some butter from the fridge, but its cold and it wont melt, so i microwaved it for 8 minutes and i put it in a glass and poured it on her cooter, and now shes saying i burned it.

i dont know what to do, my parents are going to be back any minute and shes crying in the bathroom plz help you guys are really smart please help me.

any idea how to shut her up? should i give her another n64 game?

get her some fg!

"Thats interesting, because my housemate in college was a 5'1 Jewish kid who eventually got a Ph.D. in Math from M.I.T. Smart dude, very odd, just bookwormy and intense.
He came home from a day of river rafting and was wearing a pair of ridiculous tiny white shorts -- straight 1970s that Leif Garrett probably had -- and there was this ginormous THING going down his leg. We were having a party and every girl stopped and looked. Somebody told me it was reportedly 14 inches long when fully erect, but i didn't ask him.
Later that semester he came home with his girlfriend -- a deaf girl. They communicated in sign language. That night in his bedroom, i heard a series of god-awful sounds that still give me nightmares. "

poem = insta friend zone

vouch bitches like shiny things

I use this works everytime at the skating rink.

"Hey shawty. lemme holla at you right quick ya know what im sayin. checkin you out over there you lookin kinda good, ya know what im sayin. so i was wondering ya know how about you and me go back to the place, get comfortable, probably sip on some of this henney, you know what im sayin, and after that, you know what im... sayin, we can do the grownup and you can let me clap on dem cheeks, ya hear me?" Classic YG quote

sorry bro have some touchups to do for the tourney prolly wont duel untill then........gotta keep em guessing