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d2jsp Forums > Diablo II > Archives > Softcore USEast Ladder 2010 > J S P Do You Need A Laugh * Here It Is > Come Get Your Dream Girl
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Jan 18 2010 01:25pm
:rofl:
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Jan 18 2010 01:25pm
Seven Degrees of Blonde

FIRST DEGREE
A married couple were asleep when the phone rang at 2 in
the morning.
The wife (undoubtedly blonde), picked up the phone,
listened a moment and said
'How should I know, that's 200 miles from here!' and
hung up..
The husband said, 'Who was that?' The wife said, 'I
don't know, some woman wanting to know if the coast is clear.'

SECOND DEGREE
Two blondes are walking down the street. One notices a
compact on the sidewalk and leans down to pick it up. She opens it, looks
in the mirror and says, 'Hmm, this person looks familiar.' The second
blonde says, 'Here, let me see!' So the first blonde hands her the
compact.
The second one looks in the mirror and says, 'You dummy,> it's me!'

THIRD DEGREE
A blonde suspects her boyfriend of cheating on her, so
she goes out and buys a gun. She goes to his apartment unexpectedly and when
she opens the door she finds him in the arms of a redhead..
Well, the blonde is really angry.
She opens her purse to take out the gun,
and as she does so, she is overcome with grief....
She takes the gun and puts it to her head..
The boyfriend yells, 'No, honey, don't do it!!!'
The blonde replies, 'Shut up, you're next!'

FOURTH DEGREE
A blonde was bragging about her knowledge of state
capitals.
She proudly says, 'Go ahead, ask me, I know all of
them.'
A friend says, 'OK, what's the capital of Wisconsin ?'
The blonde replies, 'Oh, that's easy: W.'

FIFTH DEGREE
What did the blonde ask her doctor when he told her she
was pregnant? 'Is it mine?'

SIXTH DEGREE
Bambi, a blonde in her fourth year as a UCLA freshman,
sat in her US government class.
The professor asked Bambi if she knew what Roe vs. Wade
was about.. Bambi pondered the question then finally said, 'That was the
decision George Washington had to make before he crossed the Delaware '

SEVENTH DEGREE
Returning home from work, a blonde was shocked to find
her house ransacked and burglarized.
She telephoned the police at once and reported the crime.
The police dispatcher broadcast the call on the radio, and a K-9 unit,
patrolling nearby was the first to respond.
As the K-9 officer approached the house with his dog on a
leash, the blonde ran out on the porch, shuddered at the sight of the cop and
his dog, then sat down on the steps.
Putting her face in her hands, she moaned,
'I come home to find all my possessions stolen. I call
the police for help, and what do they do? They send me a BLIND policeman.'
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Jan 18 2010 01:27pm
Quote (BexarCounty210 @ Jan 18 2010 03:21pm)
LOL


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Jan 18 2010 01:27pm
Quote (bigbadtom2 @ Jan 18 2010 02:23pm)
True story, I was happy. My girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year, and so we decided to get married. My parents helped us in every way, my friends encouraged me, and my girlfriend? She was a dream! There was only one thing bothering me, very much indeed, and that one thing was her younger sister. My prospective sister-in-law was twenty years of age, wore tight mini skirts and low cut blouses. She would regularly bend down when near me and I got many a pleasant view of her underwear. It had to be deliberate. She never did it when she was near anyone else. One day little sister called and asked me to come over to check the wedding invitations. She was alone when I arrived. She whispered to me that soon I was to be married, and she had feelings and desires for me that she couldn't overcome and didn't really want to overcome. She told me that she wanted to make love to me just once before I got married and committed my life to her sister. I was in total shock and couldn't say a word. She said, "I'm going upstairs to my bedroom, and if you want to go ahead with it just come up and get me." I was stunned. I was frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs. When she reached the top she pulled down her panties and threw them down the stairs at me. I stood there for a moment, then turned and went straight to the front door. I opened the door and stepped out of the house. I walked straight towards my car. My future father-in-law was standing outside. With tears in his eyes he hugged me and said, "We are very happy that you have passed our little test. We couldn't ask for a better man for our daughter. Welcome to the family.

"The moral of this story is:"

"Always keep your condoms in your car


best 1
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Jan 18 2010 01:27pm
Quote (bigbadtom2 @ Jan 18 2010 03:22pm)
AH MAN, THIS IS NOT GOOD!
A man was laying in bed with his new girlfriend.
After having great sex, she spent the next hour just stroking his penis,
something she seemed to love to do.
Enjoying it, he turned and asked her, 'Why do you love doing that?'
She replied, 'Because I really miss mine.'


damn son thats some nasty shit
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Jan 18 2010 01:28pm
Quote (BexarCounty210 @ Jan 18 2010 03:27pm)
damn son thats some nasty shit


Vodka- $39.99
Room- $79.99
Condoms- $4.99
Finding Out She Shallows & Likes It In The Butt- $ Priceless
Fuck Mastercard It Pays To Discover
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Jan 18 2010 01:29pm
Quote (pyrodude @ Jan 18 2010 03:27pm)


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Jan 18 2010 01:30pm
5/10
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Jan 18 2010 01:31pm
Quote (Zero3SB @ Jan 18 2010 03:30pm)
5/10


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