Quote (EcLiiPzE @ Jul 11 2010 12:00am)
This one time at band camp...
My friends Steve, Pat, Lexi, and myself were out in the woods looking for good firewood. While searching around a fox den, we stumbled upon a large sleeping hulkish creature. I myself though it was a bear so I proceeded to take a picture, which irritated the sleeping brute. To our dismay, it was no bear, rather Big Foot!
I was fascinated at seeing it, but I shit my pants at the same time. We took off running, but my poop-clogged pants were slowing me down, so I tripped Pat so he would distract Big Foot while I cleaned up. I kept running scooping poop out of my pants until I heard a loud crunch, which turned out to be Big Foot crushing Pat's skull.
By this time, Lexi was in tears, and Steven was vomiting due to the odor omitting from my slacks. Steven slipped in his own throw-up and fell down a hill, but not before knocking Lexi onto my lap. Steven broke his neck on the way down and died, but me and Lexi were safe while accidentally assuming the sixty-nine position under a small bush. She got afraid when Big Foot roared, and pooped into my mouth. I enjoy the taste and continued to lap up here fecal matter with my tongue, while she puked all over my crotch region.
I heard Big Foot approaching faster, so I decided to go out in a bang. I ripped of Lexi's skirt, and proceeded to schmoigle her flamdoise until she was crying. I must have blompered her to hard, because I saw blood leaking everyway from here now-punctured stomach. She died slowly while I suffocated her with my ding-slangle.
When Big Foot approached me, he was sad for my loss of friends so we lit a blunt and he gave me a pair of Perm VTramps. If you would like to buy them, click the link in my sig.
tl;dr?