Quote (pissed247 @ Oct 13 2010 03:06pm)
I've got a BIG problem and I can't really explain it to anyone I know because they'll think I'm a complete freak.
My girlfriend and I moved into an apartment togther about a year ago. Everything has been going great. Decent sex, all that.
That being said, I still ike to fap quite a bit. I'm sure most of you understand. As you may know, when you fap a lot it starts to lose the "spark". This makes one try various things - sometimes very odd things - to get the excitement back.
So after seeing a bunch of trap threads on /b/, I started thinking about fapping both AS a trap AND as myself fucking a trap. Tricky request, right? While in the supermarket I had an epiphany as I walked past the cat food cans. CAT FOOD! Instantly my fap session began to take shape in my mind:
1. Get a can of cat food. Something stinky like the crotch of a dirty whore. I went with "Fisherman's Catch".
2. Shave entire body
3. Steal some of the girlfriend's clothes
4. Insert contents of cat food can into my anus
5. Fuck my ass with a large dildo
6. Use runoff from dildo to lubricate Fleshlight
This would accomplish:
- Sensation of fucking a dirty whore with a smelly, chunky vagoo
- Sensation of being fucked AS a dirty whoer (with a smelly, chunky vagoo)
- Cum buckets
All went well until I hear my girlfriend's car pull into the parking lot. She walks in with three friends from work (two ugly bitches and one fag).
I didn't have a lot of time to clean up, so I stink like dirty pussy. The fag noticed my calf was hairless so asked about it - my girlfriend just stood there and stared at me. Didn't say a thing.
She then left and I haven't seen her in a couple hours.
Do you think I got away with it? We don't have any cats so I'm not sure how to explain the smell.
LOL