Larry gets home late one night and his wife, Linda, says "Where in the hell have you been?"
He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo."
"A tattoo?" she frowned. "What kind of tattoo did you get?" "I got a hundred dollar bill on my privates," he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain.
"Why on earth would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well,
One, I like to watch my money grow,
Two, once in a while I like to play with my money,
Three, I like how money feels in my hand and
Lastly, instead of you going out shopping, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want."