Sup guys, It's me Loochi.
So I was at my home boy G_Bomb's crib drinkin 40's and shit celebrating the fact he finally got offered a job at the petrol station. Now he can save up money to buy himself an apartment and a computer. G_Bomb's a true thug foreal, He doesn't even have a house. He lives in the corner of the street with 3 pepsi boxes who he shares with his 4 dads and a prositute mom as shelter. The only time he can log on D2 is when he robs someone's wallet and goes to the net cafe. That's why his sin is laggin behind at lvl 34. If he had a comp of his own and played everyday, only god knows wat his sin would do in pvp and what level she'd reach. (I'm guessin lvl 54?)
Texted up my girl lettin' her know that I'm safe and I'm on my way home to slam her
Loochi: Sup, I'm on my way home and you better get into your position by the time I kick the door down.
Dana: Ok sXc, I lOvE YoU HePzz xx, tExT bAkC
To hell with that shit, only reason I have a phone is to text people to pk and to bang bitches that I meet. I don't do replies.
I really wanted to bang so I went and took a shortcut through this gang members allyway. Dangerous as it may be, I always take chances. Even when it means Barbarian vsing a pussy bowazon. I take hits and still be standing. If my barb can 2 hits b4 he dies to a bowazon with kuko bow, then I guess I can take a few hits from some pussy wanna be LA gangsters.
All eyes on me as I walk through the place, I'm starin back to show them who's more of an alpha male. Pussy ass faggots backin down seeing my tshirt tite on me and my biceps flaring out. I bet these pussies had weapons stashed away incase a barbarian sized hulk such as my self felt like owning them. Lucky that I'm smart and I carry an umberalla were ever I go, I take that shit with me wether its sunny , dark or raining. Never know when I'm gonna get into trouble. One hit to the head should knock them the fuck out if they felt like bein' a bad boy.
Gang leader: What you think you doin here homez? You wanna get knocked SA?
Loochi: Sorry son, but I don't speak indian.
Gang member 1: Let's fuk this putong in the ass *pulls out a rusty cleaver*
Loochi: Butchers cleaver huh? I knew you pussies where bad manner fighters. Carryin weapons and shit. *gets his umberella out*
About now the gangs laughin and shit seein me in my stance ready for a fight and an umberalla. One of the gang members was laughin so hard that I knew it was my oppertunity to strike. I held the umberela jus like a javazon would hold titanz and I poked him in the eye. Musta did 12k damage or some shit coz blood was coming out and screaming like a bitch.
Gang member 2: MY EEEEEYYYYY!!!!
Loochi: Thank me later when people start callin you a pirate.
Gang member 1 swiping his cleaver with heat, missin and shit. Jus as expected. I was duckin an dodgin that shit like a game of stuck in the mud. Did an under arm swipe straight to his nuts, made him curl up into a ball like the sissy he is. Time to get the big fish in the small pond. It was a epic battle between us too. He was evading me like crazy. My attack rating with my umberella musta been low or some shit, but I remember what Lil T's new skill gave him. 'Enchant' - This added more AR and he was able to hit shit more. I had a lighter in my pocket from the blunt that I was blazing with G bombs 3rd father and decided to 'enchant' my umberealla. Lit my umberalla up and man was I packin literal heat! Burnin umberalla and shit.
Gang Leader: WTF? YOU CRAZY ESAY!
Loochi: Stand still, I'm gona jab the fuk outta you.
Pussy ass faggot started runnin away with his wrists flayling in the air like a queer gay fag. I knew that If I used diablo 2 tactics in R/L it would prevail. Everything in diablo is true and related to life. I wouldn't have won without enchanting my umberalla. Saw some fine bitch up the road waitin for her bf to pick her up, I knew that I'd never forgive my self if I didn't stick my dong in between her ass. Took her back to E Low's apartment and slammed her good. GF still wondering where I am.