I've landed myself in a pickle at the tail end of 7 years of probation.
Dropped dirty after a night of bad decisions. (Weed, Yay, Alcohol)
PO ordered 12 drug and alcohol assessment classes (in which I've almost completed), $650 more in fines (for a total of around 14k throughout 7 years). Got all my levels down during active classes, and then corona virus hit and everything was through zoom, (so no piss tests for 3 months) ended up chiefing again (I am legally medicated in MI, but reside in OH now and haven't switched) and they dropped me 2 weeks ago, I cracked and used fake urine that came back positive for being fake urine (Imagine that...) And long story short, my PO gave me my last 9th life I have... If I can piss clean 2 times before aug 3rd. I am forced to use this 5 day cleansing detox that requires no drug or chemical(nicotine) intake to work. I am a smoker of 15 years (marijuana/cigs) and a casual drinker (Usually after long weeks of work)
.
I am allowed none.
Cold turkey.

This is my Detox timeline as I deal with the struggles of addiction.

7/7/20-Day 1 Pre-Detox- Cleansing/Detox is purchased. Enjoying my last night of Mary and cigs.

7/8/20-Day 2-Was a rough morning (work), ended up extending the test from 2 weeks from now, so tonight will be the end of toxins. This'll be the first family reunion (Saturday) with no smoking or drinking. Being legally medicated and having it not allowed is going to be difficult and some bs to say the least... 😒

Don't wait another day for Day 1. You could have been on Day 3 tomorrow brother!! There will literally always be an excuse to smoke and restart.

You will be more talkative with your family on Saturday and those that you felt weird being around (if there were any) will no longer feel weird to be around. It'll feel so good I'm telling you!

Quitting smoking weed seriously hurts your brain and your emotions for a few days but is going to have unreal positive effects on your hygiene, energy levels and sociability. If you are sober from today until the end of your family reunion, I GUARANTEE you that at least one family member will comment on your changed moods.

Keep at it bro and keep this user blog updated daily.

This post was edited by Forgiveness on Jul 8 2020 04:22pm

It's the nicotine really.
I am literally the worst for finding an excuse to smoke/chief... 🙇
Being a daily smoker for 15 years and was actually prescribed medical marijuana for my migraines and anxiety. Stuck between a rock and a hard place...
I am actually looking forward to being on the other spectrum at the reunion honestly, and I couldn't agree more.

This post was edited by PairADice on Jul 8 2020 04:31pm

7/9/20 Day 3- I went all day without smoking even through the 100 degree weather and stress. Ended up rolling 1 for my girl when I got home and broke the oath. I've yet to use the cleanser and saving it for next week, while I wing myself off the smoking until then. I currently have 13 days before the screening and plan to put in a good effort until then. I've came to the conclusion that my levels are to high to mask in such a short period of time... But hopefully my efforts with my struggles will provide enough initiative for them to understand and be lenient. Or maybe I am just digging myself a deeper hole by justifying my use, even though it is for medicinal reasons. 🙇

7/10/20 Day 4- My brother is coming down from MI to go with for the reunion. I've winged down to smoking only so I can eat and I can sleep (Pain, Anxiety, ECT). Talked to my counselor and he is catching the vibe and was actually being pretty cool off the energy and understanding my situation and how far I've made it through all my troubles. So he's trying to provide a shoulder to listen and a leg to stand on. Which is only helping. Hopefully all goes well and I don't get hung for what it is...

Good stuff bro, keep working at it. It's not easy

This post was edited by Forgiveness on Jul 10 2020 08:12pm