Whilst travelling in Scotland,
On my way to toss a caber,
My van broke down quite near a loch,
My wife went into labour.
I looked around to find some help,
But not a car came by,
A kilted man went cycling passed,
And said 'Bus soon, och aye'
(I still don't know what 'och aye' means,
But blessed the cycling stranger,
I told my missus not to worry,
That we'd avoid the danger).
And when the bus eventually came,
I didn't feel so nervous,
Until I saw the sodding sign,
It said: 'Ah'm no' in service!'