Keep Calm right?

I'm tired of keeping my emotions bottled up.

So you could call it relaxing/chilling
But I call it COMPLETLY DYING OF AN INSANEAMOUNT IF BORDOM.

Yeah that was my morning/afternoon/early evening

But Anthone got off work, and we were originally going to go to the movies and dinner
But, the movie showings were so late.
And he has to work tomorrow.

So we ended up going to dinner around 9to PF Chang's

It was a good date.
Laughed
Made fun of each other
Just really enjoyed each others company.

He said the sweetest thing to me.
An me retyping it up here will not do it any justice.
But for the sake of old memories (cwutididthur)
I'll write it.



We were riding in the car, music was blasting.
I was singing along and he was quiet.

He spoke up after about 15 mins
And said
"Kathleen, if we ever got in to a car accident and you heard me say I love you
Know that, that accident is not goin to turn out well.
I would probably throw myself over you to protect you.
I wouldn't even think twice about saving myself"

Anthoné doesn't Nornally say things like that.

Like his tone was chillingly serious.



I love him.

I'm tired of getting in to these lulls in jsp
Like some days it's like wow a girl that's cool
Other days its like oh a girl? Lets skype and talk dirty 24/7
And most days it's like
You're a girl? You suck at life. How dare you have morals and standards and think independently and don't agree with us makes.

I think I had a semi epiphany.


Maybe there is a reason I have yet to discover for why I am not in school yet, or not in a job yet.
because all the reasons, are actually outside my control.

So she wants to take a long weekend.spen time with Wayne.

I'm. Livid.

Have your own opinions.
I'm not going to post every detail.

But what she is doing is enough to piss me off.
And I could never be mad at her

Oreo milkshake from cook out.




Just turned in my resume for the Lotus Buffet.

So, Lotus Buffet didn't even interview me, they just asked me to come in on saturday so I can start working♥

Thank you Lord .

It would be nice to have some cash back in my pocket again haha

Happy Birthday Katie Wingate.

I hope you're partying it up in the heavens.

You're 19.

You coulda done so much.
But you ended it.

So, I'm looking at americorps.
the benefits are great, well, kinda,
modest living allowance,
housing if needed
oppertunities to travel
health coverage,
education award of like 5,050 per year.
etc.

But I cant complete part of the requirements,
with my medical things, I cant work more than 8 hours,
I can't do "harsh physical labor under adverse weather conditions and stressful enviorments"

I mean, at least htey are upfront. about it.
but, all of the ones that arent physical labor i need to be a college graduate, ironic right?

So, I'm looking in to UNCC.
and, I'm looking at the pictures of the kids taking notes, etc.

I don't want to go back to that kind of life.
I hated it.
The papers, the stress level, the social pressure.

I just can't


This is all very hard to me.


And I know this sounds bad kind of but Anthone might be holding me back a bit.
I just don't want to loose him and I want to be with him, next to him.

I'm getting bored and irritated with everything.
This is the only reason why I get on jsp

And it's a chore sometimes.

I feel like I just can't say anything right anymore