man holy fuck
fucking life
it's like i've been trapped in this perpetual cyclone of shit
let me go over a few things that have been going on in the last few weeks
1) devil woman
2) more tales of pisser volume XXIV
3) fucking joe
4) fatness
5) probably some other bullshit
1) devil woman
if anyone were to go back and read some of the shit posted in mid-late january, ya'll gonna find some emo shit there. that little emo burst of posts is thanks to a woman whose name shall not be mentioned, but you may identify her by the fact that she is british.
recap of my relationship with british:
1) hey pat, nice to meet you
2) back and forth messaging for a few weeks
3) added each other on skype
4) talk 8 hours a day
5) you're the most amazing guy i've ever met
6) i don't want to talk to you anymore
so
much like any other relationship i have acquired, people find me interesting for a few weeks then stop giving a shit about me lol!
the thing about british is that she was exactly like me, i could speak her to like a god damn nigga from the ghetto and tell her that i was glad she was increasingly susceptible to gingivitis being british and all
what sealed the motherfucking deal is that she loved lost
but all this meant nothing
because one day she decided to stop talking to me
and it hurt like fuck
and i can't get over her
so we stopped talking
a month later, we talk for like 10 seconds
then another month later, im still trying to forget about her, she sends me this nigga ass message on facebook asking me how i was doing
she was god damn hyped up on chocolate or some shit, one thing led to another, and we added each other in our phones
then we started messaging each other back and forth
and im like
what the fuck is this shit
man i just felt used
i feel like she only talks to me when she's bored and is looking for a laugh or some shit
so im like
bitch yo
i'm trying to forget about you
since you took my heart out of my chest and sucked the blood right out of it like the demon from hell that you are
and i think it'd be in the best interest of my feelings if we cease all communication as i cannot stop thinking about you
she agrees
and she stops sending me messages
so i begin the long journey back to healing my now bloodless heart
idk if you've ever had the misfortune of living with a heart that doesn't pump blood
but it ain't pleasant
so whatever
i try to start forgetting about her all over again
and 9 days later, she messages me again
???????????
literally right above the message wherein i told her that talking to her was just making me emo as fuck because i had all these feelings and that i had to stop, RIGHT ABOVE THAT MESSAGE, 9 DAYS LATER SHE SENDS ME ONE
WHAT THE FUCK
and i just can't ignore her
i just want to talk to her so badly, we get along so well and we have all this shit in common
and i was just staring at my fucking phone all day telling myself not to reply
but i just had to
and now her being her, she'll probably reply "lol" or ignore me until she's bored enough to send me something again
WHILE IN THE MEANTIME
IM OVER HERE IN CANADA EMO AS FUCK
im just sick of this shit
she is doing nothing but making me miserable
but i like her that fucking much that if there's even a chance she'll like me again, i can't remove her/stop talking to her
fuck
2) tales of pisser
man
a lot has changed in the last few weeks
and by a lot, i mean pisser is gradually getting more fucking insane by the day
so
my dad got laid off on april the 7th or some shit, so he booked a flight and went back home
he's gonna be home for 4-6 weeks, and in the meantime, im here by myself with pisser and joe (other roommate) while i continue to look for a job
and let me say this with all honesty
it's not a question of if i'm going to be raped, it's when and who is going to be doing said raping
let me rewind a bit
pisser likes to get drunk. she likes to steal any beer in the fridge, drink every single bit in there. then she likes to piss in the chair/floor/furniture. pisser has a friend named ashley. she's 25. she has nice boobs. i'd buy her a drink at a bar. i've envisioned her a few times while i masturbated. i saw her bra in the bathroom one day and couldn't help but stare at it for a seconds. ashley is a crack head. she likes to come here and do cocaine lol! they're currently out in the kitchen snorting coke and i haven't eaten in 12 hours lol!
so when pisser gets drunk, she literally doesn't stop talking. she'll talk. then she'll talk some more. her mouth moves at a pace of 50 km/hour. she could be a blowjob expert because her mouth just doesn't close
so earlier today, she told me i was handsome
okay, i accept that and appreciate the compliment
i've been growing this beard and i think it's pretty rad
makes me look hard as fuck
i stroke it for a few hours a night and it makes me feel good
then she continued her sentence with the follow up:
"if i was 20, i'd be on my knees"
oh
one may also note, that not two weeks ago, she made a similar comment as follows:
"if i was his age, i'd be fucking that like crazy"
so now that my dad has left me to fend for myself, i expect to be raped
i'm just being practical
i've come to terms with this
i've accepted the fact that at any given moment, a towering, drunk pisser is going to enter my room and one of us is going to be heading to a psychiatric hospital by the time she leaves
so i've been sleeping with one eye open
i've got my penis in my hand before i sleep to provide it comfort in these dark times
on the flip side of this, there's also a much smaller risk that i'll be raped by ashley as well
i've never done cocaine, i've been meaning to
i've sold it and have traded it for sex
but i've never tried it
so i don't know how it works
i'm not a cocaine expert is what i'm trying to say
so i can only imagine the mindset that one develops when on such a drug
and can only speculate that certain thoughts may enter the mind when doing such things
and given my good looks, her cracked out brain and her 25 year old sex drive, i say it's possible she tries to rape me as well
so essentially what we have here is your typical good news/bad news situation
on the one hand, i wouldn't mind being raped by ashley
but on the other hand, if i was raped by pisser, i don't think there'd be any turning back from my mental state
so the decision i have to make is this
do i lock the door?
do i potentially avoid a rape from a sexy woman for security against rape from a beast of a woman?
idk
i'm between a rock and a hard place to tell you the truth
i've yet to come to a decision, but i fear time is growing short
tensions are high
there is rape in the air
and it's only a matter of time
before someone strikes.
3) fucking joe
man what the fuck
this is the one aspect in which i didn't prepare to end in misery
i know nothing ever good is going to come from pisser
i know i'm probably not going to get a job anytime soon
i also know that i fucking hate it up here, and would give up my innocence if it meant i could go back home and return to walmart
but the one thing i have been able to count on during the last 3.5 months of hell is that joe is a good guy
a solid dude
a certified bro for sure
the man makes me food, drives me wherever i need to go
is generally a cool as fuck person for a 58 year old
so for the last 3 months i've viewed him as completely neutral. no problems with him. the one person who's stable in this fucking dungeon of an apartment
and up until now, i've never had any reason to ever mention him because he was nothing but good
but boy was i wrong.
was i fucking wrong indeed.
i should have known as soon as i met pisser
there exists not a man that can be roomates with pisser while being mentally stable
did i mention ashley is hot as fuck though
seriously
those boobs man
joe apparently, wants in on the action too
he wants to sex her up
like the nigga wasnt even 58 and didnt have back problems
and man
that in itself
it's pretty gross
but whatever
you do what you gotta do son
but nah he's got a deeper plan going on
this motherfucker has a bunch of god damn cocaine in his room
fun fact about ashley: she had sex with a guy a few months ago for some cocaine
so whenever she comes over, joe attempts to give her cocaine in the hopes that she'll have sex with him lol!
and man
it's just like what
the amount of shit i've seen up here is just off the charts
but this is just so out of fucking whack
i can listen to pisser talk to herself and tell her laptop to fuck off, but this shit is just on a whole new level
and the shittiest part about it is that he admitted it
we were at the fucking table
and pisser was telling him how gross of a man he and that ashley would never sleep with him
and his response: "i'll get her"
man
just fuck
it just takes a turn from humorous to some dark and dreary ass shit
i find a lot of the shit that goes on up here funny, but when i go out to the kitchen for the first time in 12 hours and just see a pile of cocaine in the table, that's just something else all together
4) fatness
fuck this shit
i've gained 10 pounds since i've came here and i ain't even care
5) other shit
- i hate everything about my life
- having an intense debate in my mind right now over which kind of chips ill be eating tomorrow
- havent been this emo in ever
- think that about sums it up lol!
Quote (Caulder10 @ Apr 9 2013 08:27pm)
still waiting for you to write a book
saw an article the other day about some 17 year old girl that just got a million dollar deal from random house for her writings, and I assure you they are not at all as good as yours.
ive tried writing a book before
i failed miserably tho
This post was edited by Reginaaccchecker13 on Apr 13 2013 05:58am