unrelated
'a bunch of niggers attacked me with an axe'- my dad

enjoyed reading your blog so far, your life is pretty similar to mine, dem feels

Holy fuck. where to start
got on a plane yesterday. 3 different flights. 3600 miles. in Alberta. starting work by next week.
the flights were terrible. the whole new and exciting thing quickly went down the shitter after we took off. dad hogged all the window seats. spent all of my time on the first plane critiquing women and playing pokemon ruby. i'm no scientist, but seriously. you have to see how many beautiful fucking women are on planes. it's like every hot person in canada joined forces to be there. I literally have never seen so many people I wanted to have sex with. it was just one after another. i don't want to admit this but i was kind of staring at them. i'm not a creep. just i'm so lonely and hate life etc that all of this beauty warranted my constant attention. then the flight attendants came out. they were even fucking hotter than the passengers. my mind could not stop saying what the fuck. it was way better staring at them, cos they were giving directions etc so we had to look towards them. i counted down the minutes until one of them had to ask me if i wanted juice.

second flight was the same thing. hot people everywhere. was in a perpetual state of disbelief. was also uncomfortable as fuck at the airports. normal people all over the place. just a big ol parade of fucking normal people doing normal things. how i longed to be one of them. bought a 12$ quiznos sub. saw a bunch of blacks. was crazy. canada isn't known for a lot of blacks. anyway. this flight was 4 hours. it was terrible. as soon as i got on i was praying to fucking god that i wasnt sat next to a beautiful girl. the odds were slim. im pretty sure i smelled like pizza sauce and exhaustion. luckily i got this big guy wearing a jean jacket. praise jesus. there was a cute girl in front of me though. for the first hour of the flight i imagined our lives together. she had a tattoo on her arm, but that was ok. i could live with that. then she started watching the big bang theory. fucking turned my head away in disgust. still 3 hours to go. watched Premium rush and The Campaign. both terrible moves. reminded me of why i don't watch them and stick to tv.

third flight was awful. it was only a 55 minute one and not as many people as the others. so it was this small ass little shitty plane. i was cramped as fuck. the other airports I was at were Toronto and Edmonton. these are huge places, and it was just such an awesome vibe seeing all these sexy people and guys in business suits. but this fucking place. we were heading to a shithole. the plane was filled with a bunch of hillbilly drug dealers. i ain't even stereotyping. i know for a fact that at least half of them were drug dealers. there were 3 sexy girls on there. and by sexy, i mean sexy. not beautiful like the others. although they were hot, they still gave off the whole 'i run with gangs and i may or may not be a prostitute'.
the fucking rest. man. i'm uncomfortable around normal people, but being around these fucking guys was even worse. there were two people- TWO FUCKING DIFFERENT PEOPLE that had DOGS inside their luggage. they spent the whole flight whimpering. everyone kept making conversation about it and trying to find out the cause of the whimpering. oh, i don't fucking know, maybe they're whining BECAUSE THEY ARE FUCKING DOGS 36000 FEET IN THE AIR TRAPPED IN A SMALL FUCKING BACKPACK SURROUNDED BY DARKNESS YOU IDIOTS. FUCK. then there was this couple in front of me. two very large people. the guy scared the fuck out of me. he was at least 6', at least 280 pounds, had 2 skull earings and a bald head. on his motherfucking head there were these big fucking bumps everywhere. the girl was covered in acne. not being mean or rude, just describing what i remember. they were at least 25 and i've never seen a 25 year old with acne. and she would keep rubbing his fucking bumps. the entire flight she had her hand on his head just patting the bumps. jesus fucking christ. this is the town where i chose to be for 6 months. among these people

i'm hoping i get fucking kidnapped already so i can get out of here. i have never felt so out of place.
this apartment is no different. i'm with my dad, and two drunks. one is a female. she has a bladder infection apparently, and gets super drunk and pisses everywhere because she can't hold it.
she says she has a son who she wants me to meet. says i just need to make a few friends up here and it'd be easier. wrong bitch. i need the exact opposite of that
im sleeping on this air mattress on the floor. i can't masturbate because i sleep in the same room as dad. what fucking else is there.
man do i regret coming up here

This post was edited by Reginaaccchecker13 on Jan 5 2013 07:11am

Good luck in getting warmed up to the new place x_x

holy fuck
coming up here is without a doubt the dumbest thing i've ever done in my pathetic god damn life
literally do not know what i was thinking
here's the situation i currently find myself in
dad, roommate (i will henceforth refer to her as pisser, as she pisses everywhere), very attractive 25 year old meth head and pissers' son are all out in the kitchen
they've been here for hours and i've successfully been able to avoid them until now. dad comes in and says i should come out and say hello. i tell him nah.
"stop being anti-social and come out and say hi"
nah
"patrick (stern tone)"
nah
"stop being a mope and come introduce yourself. it's rude"
dad please
he walks away. I let out a heavy breath. Then I hear him shout my fucking name from the kitchen. 'PATRICK COME OUT'
this means war bitch. i go out and say hi. i turn around to go back into room. i am stopped by comments flying every other way in my direction. i literally say 10 words in 5 minutes, yet they want me to stay out there and 'chat'
pissers' son asks me if I went to the same school as him. i did. tells me he has never seen me around. yeah bitch maybe because i was in the fucking bathroom all year long playing pokemon
i finally get away. it's nearing 7:00, and they all have to be at work by 7 30 so they should be gone soon.
pisser comes in and starts talking about some random bullshit. i ask her when she's leaving for work. she's off tonight. so they're all going to stay out there and get drunk
guess i won't be eating anything tonight lol! let's hope i don't starve to death since i've only had a sandwich 10 hours ago lol!
i hear very loud shouting 20 minutes later. i'm trying to ignore it but fuck they're loud.
pisser comes into room again in a tizzy
her son apparently wants my fucking piss.
he wants my fucking piss.
she goes on this roller coaster of a rant telling me how he's addicted to weed and how he's trying to get a job. he has to get drug testing though and needs clean piss
what the fuck
she tells me to stay in here and under no circumstance give him my urine
like what
how is this even happening
i will pay whoever $3328.69 CAD if they literally just find a way to kill me while i'm in my room. i don't care if you have to stone me through my window. for the love of god get me away from this shit

10\10

would read again

welp
8:03 and they're finally all asleep
i go to take a dump i've been holding in for some time now
theres blood on the toilet seat and an open pack of tampons on the floor
really
really

Dear Pat,
I love you.


You could write books and be a millionaire.
You could be the "diary of a wimpy kid" and NOT be a total faggot piece of shit.
I would watch your movie. Slum dog millionaire ain't got shit on you.
By the way, sennheiser headsets are the fucking best!
I love them!
I have a set of wireless headphones ($80) as well as a pc360 headset ($260) and I fucking love them. They are the most comfortable headphones ever.
Fuck every other headset. I have tried them all.

Also, we have a wal-mart 40 minutes away, you can come live in the apartment over my garage and work at wal-mart. And you can jerk off whenever you want and never have to worry about anyone "stopping by" because there is NO ONE around.

PS. You would love my dog Steve. Who is my best friend. And does not piss or shit in the house. Period.

Dear Caulder
If you were a woman, every emotional and sexual need of mine would have been filled long ago
I implore you to reconsider your gender, as it would mean spending a life together
Just jerking off alone in peace is enough to make me want to travel to Vermont. The ice cream only sweetens the deal. Literally and figuratively.
Also my headphones cost 190$, therefore making them at least 2x as better as yours
I would love for you to meet our dog, so you could convey to him using your advanced dog training abilities that shitting on the floor is a big no.

This post was edited by Reginaaccchecker13 on Jan 9 2013 02:26pm

I would make one FUGLY woman.. already an ugly guy.
Besides, I like my dick too much. Sorry

We could pretend to be gay and pick up unsuspecting women.