First time getting a hundred on one of the lessons on my math hw~
omg♥

‎6 months ago today, my beautiful friend decided that life was too much for her. So she left to go to heaven where she knew she'd be able to find peace. But that left the rest of us heartbroken and missing her. Never think your life is so bad that it has to end. There is always someone there for you who loves you. Talk to them. Don't hold it all in. Your not alone. You're never alone. I miss you Katie Wingate. RIP babygirl ♥

Katie, I miss you.
Katie, I need you.
Katie, just five minutes please.
Katie, I love you.

SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO,
I like pms'd on Jaen, Robin, & Tevin today hahahaaha. i feel kinda bad, but thenagain, it was hillarious.

Crafts, me and Kenny were bonding, it was cute

THIRD BLOCK.
okay lemme tell you what happened.
So Devin is having a birthday party, she didn't invite me, I'm alright with that, cause we didnt talk with each other
that much this year anyway, and I just eh, I'm like "whatever" near her.
Even though we have been REALLY close since 6th grade.. thats 7 years..
She didnt invite me to her party... BUT her dumbass decided to invite the dude that took her vcard, then broke up with her
to her party.
So, I was talking to pavani, and she thought I was invited, like she LEGIT thought I was.
And she was pissed for me.
and we were BOTH like, oh so you will invite the ass who took your vcard then left you for another chick,
instead of the friend that just consoled you through everything, and been there?
I KNOW she didn't just "forget" cause I'm not stupid.
I see her everyfucking day.
I eat lunch with her every fucking day.
I'm not stupid.

BUT, allison, Pavani , and I just came to the conculsion to kill her with kindness,
yeah I invited her to my party, yeah I gave her a compliment today.
I hope she just feels like shit later.

~
so yeah.

suicide sucks.. my cuz took his life this year it sucked he was happier then me it seemed. hang in there. shit always gets better

Oh, another thing that happened in third block was,
we did nothing, because our councelors wanted to meet up with us one on one and talk about our future, colleges to look at, scholoar ships and what not.

So, my councelor Ms. Reed who knows me pretty well, she calls me up and she's like
okay, you have a 3.2 un weighted; 3.8 weighted.
what schools are you looking at?

I told her... college is not meant for everyone, and I'm not really looking at a regular college.
Instead, I was looking at bakery & pastry.
I would like to work at the Great Harvest Bread Co and see if it is something really for me, then go to a community college and get my certificate then.
but I do not think I am mature enough to really decide my future yet, I'm only 16.

She shoots me down.
and pretty much told me to go to a 4 year college and get a degree, because reality is, i have to pay the bills.

I see what she is saying, and I am not shunned to it, I just feel that,
I would rather be poor and happy doing what I love, and struggling to make the payments, versus middle class/ wealthy and hating what I do for a living.

I told my mother that, and She was so proud of me, and now she is bragging to my realitives about how happy she is how I stood up for what I believe in.
I feel kinda good, but It just really hurts how someone just shot me down like that,
but thats life and that is reality.

When I open up my charity and become not famous, but well known.
I will thank her for giving me the drive to do this.
and I will do it.

So, I told my mother this morning that I was thinking of the S word.

I'm not gonna do it, i'm too scared, but I've actually been feeling like this for months now.

Like, I'm just sick of it all, I'm sick of being ignored, I'm sick of being looked over.

Thats honestly why I love jsp so much, is because

I dont get looked over here, I dont get ignored, I made my self who I am.

Like, I'm tired of people telling me I can't do something.

I'm tired of people hearing me, but not listening to me.

I'm tired of people seeing me, and not looking at me.

like, I'm not used to this lack of attention I'm getting, and my friends aren't doing it on purpose

they are just too caught up in themselves to even glance at me...

But tbh, i'm slightly fine with it, like, I'm not in any drama... at all...

I'm not stressed... I'm finally making decent grades.

I have one AMAZING friend... I don't need my circle of 16 friends that i've grown up with.

idk...

Like I feel like I need them though, Like they are my ground, my rock.

and I feel like I am slipping away from them.

I want to be remembered by them, I want to be talked to by them. like just say a word.

idk.

I mean like, I have friends don't get me wrong... its just my base of my friends.. the ones I've been with for seven years.

It just hurts... alot.

i read this everytime i have the Chance Kath. seeing someone happy like u makes me feel better :3 have fun with your senior year >.< youve had more fun then i had in my final year

I took off my senior VEGAS GOLD nail polish.
I prefer my nails looking clean and natural.
o.o