The difference is I hold deep shame for my actions, you seem to express a desire for people to know about yours.
Never do I want to repeat my mistakes, If I get struck it's deserved.
It's regular for you to repeat your mistakes.. lol. I've seen this same situation happen multiple times. Same thing every time.
You act nice for awhile and try to make other abide by the rules.
You eventually lose your shit and go off the deep end on someone to the point of warn or suspensions.
You take a little break for awhile, at least a week or so.
Come back acting all nice again and apologetic for your past actions and claim it'll never happen again.
Rinse and repeat.
Again, you don't even know what I did to get my warn. It wasn't for being an asshole or anything, just posted a youtube video in hopes of a discussion and turns out it was too graphic. What "deep shame" am I supposed to feel?