But what if I am using my faith in Mountain Dew Baja Blast™ to stay awake in church? It's refreshing taste can save my soul and take worshiping Jesus to another level!

Then you are committing Idolatry against God Himself. It's the worst sin. You need to repent and turn to the Lord Jesus Christ for Salvation if you care about your own soul. Believe that He died and rose again, shedding His blood as a Sacrifice for your sins. If you had any idea what hell was like, you wouldn't joke around about it like this and you would listen to my words when I say that you need Christ Jesus. Read this first post and place your faith in Him for salvation. Pray that prayer at the bottom of it to God in faith from your heart.

I believe God cocreated Jesus and Mountain Dew to save our souls from hell and extreme thirst

John 6:35 NIV

Then Jesus declared, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never go hungry, and whoever believes in me will never be thirsty."

Christians Do go to heaven:
Mr 16:19 ¶ So then after the Lord had spoken unto them, he was received up into heaven, and sat on the right hand of God.
2Co 5:8 We are confident, I say, and willing rather to be absent from the body, and to be present with the Lord.
(KJV)
Php 1:21 ¶ For to me to live is Christ, and to die is gain.
22 But if I live in the flesh, this is the fruit of my labour: yet what I shall choose I wot not.
23 For I am in a strait betwixt two, having a desire to depart, and to be with Christ; which is far better:
24 Nevertheless to abide in the flesh is more needful for you.
People in heaven:
Re 19:1 ¶ And after these things I heard a great voice of much people in heaven, saying, Alleluia; Salvation, and glory, and honour, and power, unto the Lord our God:
(KJV)
Jesus Christ is going to rule and reign on the earth. The believers will be with Him on the earth at that time. Right now believer's go to heaven to be with the Lord Jesus Christ because that is where He is.

You don’t need to die to get to heaven. Just build a rocket and go straight up into the sky. And, if you fall and die, then you go to heaven anyway.

The bible leaves out that when he said that he was drinking a cold refreshing Mountain Dew.

How about just be a good person?

Can you fix in heaven tho?

Can you die in heaven tho?