A woman has a close male friend. This means that he is probably interested in her, which is why he hangs around so much. She sees him strictly as a friend. This always starts out with, you're a great guy, but I don't like you in that way. This is roughly the equivalent for the guy of going to a job interview and the company saying, You have a great resume, you have all the qualifications we are looking for, but we're not going to hire you. We will, however, use your resume as the basis for comparison for all other applicants. But, we're going to hire somebody who is far less qualified and is probably an alcoholic. And if he doesn't work out, we'll hire somebody else, but still not you. In fact, we will never hire you. But we will call you from time to time to complain about the person that we hired.

Someone once said that I should always treat other people how I would like to be treated. Now I'm facing sexual harassment charges.

History always tells a story, That's why you must always clear it before your dad uses the computer!

Girl in car crash says "i think have concussion" paramedic asks "how many fingers have i got up?" the girl replies "oh god, my fanny's paralysed too"

A blond drops off a shirt at the cleaners. On the way out the door,the lady at the counter says "Come Again". The blond says "no its toothpaste this time".

Is it considered sexual assault if a midget walks up to you and says your hair smells nice?.

ahahahhahaha

Stolen from bash.org

rofl

Oh jeepers Mister, i pwomise i made all the other ones up myself!