i just got the lumber order and now femi is not letting me back in even though i helped her and have 1k to pay.. i even tried the agility shortcut north of the start of grand tree and i cant get in the stronghold

You can go to the Grand Exchange and use the Spirit Tree to get into the Stronghold as well

My favorite spirit tree as ironman is ardy cape then run northwest to the one by ardy battle field and clock tower. But yea what Mr sk said. Use quest helper my guy from runelite. Ez questing