A Life of Remorse
I look at myself in the mirror and I always see someone else
What in my past full of troubles caused me to not see myself
I wish i could go back and maybe ask someone for help
Maybe they would listen instead of calling me a whelp
But thats how it goes when you feel depression like me
It takes a lot more for a regular man to see
That being down and sad is not the way to be
But no matter what i do, no matter what i try
I can't seem to become happy, because I'm living in a lie
If only i could find the things in life that are so pure
The things that people sing about, the way people endure
I wish I was a child playing in the yard
Freeing princess's from their dragon captors in a land afar
Wasn't life so simple when you were only a child
Every bit of bad news seemed to be so mild
If living is a gift from god, I don't seem to like him much
Because if it really was a gift why would I be feeling such a way
To want to attach my feet to bricks, and jump into th***
Put in the grasp of warmth from death's devious touch
Then maybe I could smile then, not living another day
like shakespeare once said it creeps by petty pace
Then why do i want to speed that up and finish up the race
There is a way to stop this, there is a way indeed
To tie a noose and tip the chair then maybe I'll be freed
But what if in death my depression linger's on
Then i go through eternity knowing I was wrong
But what indeed will i do if I can be fine
Maybe I'll stop on the street, take that penny or that dime
For even though I live through life with my money and my wealth
I can not seem to find myself living in good health
For go back in time one thousand years or so
Wealth meant how long you lived and poor meant time to go
I wish I could trade places with someone happy and broke
Then they could live a life paid for, a life that's nothing but a joke
But that will never happen so i live a life in shame
A life where there is no one else to share the blame
Sometimes i go through ghetto's at night hoping to get stabbed
Then death is not my choice, so I won't feel bad
I wish I could be happy, so happiness I chase
So hear I am in front of the mirror again looking at my face
I see nothing in my eyes, nothing but disgrace
I look down at my legs, so pathetic indeed
I wish I could walk again, then maybe I could see
For little know what its like to go from walking to not
From being a superstar then being left to rot
For in the past I wasn't nice or even in remorse
I thought money could buy happiness but it just made it worse
I would trade everything I had to get back on that court
To be able to to run and get back to my sport
For the reason I can't walk is only blamed on me
To think I could fight alone against a group of three
I remember the day completely clear
I was walking back home and I heard these kids cheer
They said I was a joke, that I didn't deserve to play
So I approached them fast like I had something to say
They beat me senseless and I never played again
So now in the mirror I never see a man
So now you know why I have no faith above
Because god took away the only thing I ever loved
I want to be able to say out out brief candle
If I can walk in death then i'm no longer dismantled
By Alistair Moss (me)
This post was edited by thecanadiandevil on Feb 4 2013 02:00am