Imagine if you will
A distant pale shore
White with age
Never decrepid
No souls in need of swill
Far fetched fields never tilled
No stories ever told
Yet still free from any bore
Found in ancient lore
Yes, you will not find in any store
A half so beautifully painted sphere
But since that darkness has come near
It plays out in rhyme nevermore
Obstructed by right angles
And oh, how the dark dances
When it hears the faint jingle and jangle
Of a most curious golden circle
Hoarded most in fear
To constrict and cage this beautiful sphere
And what we feel is what we never felt
A smoke screen to cover all the thoughts
That cloud our mind
A perfect alibi
To deny all the guilt that we find
What we feel is who we are
So who are we?
Guided by the illusion to be free
When all we need grows off of all the trees
And we're blinded by all our superficial needs
So where do we go from now?
I have no idea where to precede
How do we all make sense of it all
When it only sums to a frown?
A superficial meaning is king
When all we want is to lifted by wings
From all we created
So push from it now
Cause what we don't know is all that matters
So try to imagine it if you will
Try to make sense of it now
If you can..

This post was edited by LD4all on Sep 20 2012 11:07pm

polished it up



Picture it if you will
A distant pale shore
White with age
Never decrepit
No souls in need of swill
Far fetched fields never tilled
No stories ever told
Yet still free from any bore
Not found in any ancient lore
Yes, you will not find in any store
A half so beautifully painted sphere!
But since that masonry maven has cast its plot
It plays out in rhyme nevermore
Obstructed by right angles
And oh, how the mason dances!
Yes! It M-O-V-E-S
When it hears the faint jingle and jangle
Of a most curious golden circle
Hoarded most in fear
And oh, how the mason toils and builds!
To constrict and cage this beautiful sphere
And oh, how ironically
For it is precisely the cause of this creature’s fears
This elaborate plot seen in the sadness of each face
The set, the World
And its star, the Human Race

This post was edited by LD4all on Sep 21 2012 08:51am

I would consider taking out the "And" that you use in all of the "And oh, blah blah" lines (and the last line).

Something to consider

This post was edited by Interesting on Sep 22 2012 12:13am

yeah, i like that. thanks
ive never tried a romantic approach of writing, still have much to learn
poe's work has been recently influencing me more than usual though
polished up once again:

Really horrible.

yep.
just practicing

>all rights belong to original poster<

Picture my distant shore

Come when old age sets

Lore describes the fall on your beauty

Fear my creature, not

It is of the human race

I worked all my worldly, but tis toil purposeful

If you don't mind, i'd like to post one of my pieces in here.

This one is called "Forever."

It will never go away, WILL IT.
At times I think I’m fine, but then I get hit again
Thoughts, and feelings un-submerge and I’m here
Here on the verge of going insane, the pain, forever I will feel
You are an ocean current and I’m trying to swim away
But I’ll only get so far until you pull me back in
With the soft lips, and slanted grin , you win, again
I cannot disassemble everything that we have made
But I have paid, paid my life away, my precious time, devoted
To ending what we had and forgetting all my trouble, but
You won’t let me forget, forever in your debt, I can’t escape
This place you bring me to, which I can only describe as hell
And at the sound of the bell, ring ring ring, the bell? The call
The call I always get when you’re upset and you need me, wont let me be
Until you get what you wanted, me, again to fall in love and shove the pain away
Try to put a smile on your face at the cost of mine, a line, a string
That’s forever long and never fading always wet at the tips, the blood always drips
My sanity lingering, for I try to hold it strong, but not for long
I’ll never get away, I’ll never be strong