Quote (Mongrel @ 17 Sep 2011 16:29)
I need someone to proof-read this, its an example essay for my composition and rhetoric class
Genealogical research enables people to figure out surprising aspects of their past, validate or refute information, and to find answers to those daunting questions they have asked themselves countless times throughout their life. Through Genealogical research people can discover interesting facts about their relatives. For example: my distant relative Rizah Meskovic was a professional soccer player who played in the 1974 FIFA World Cup. Furthermore, people can discover interesting similarities between family members, like a distant cousin and myself whose names vary by a single letter. Correspondingly people can figure out relevant and meaningful information related to their lives. For illustration, I recently discovered that my family, on both sides, consists of a long lineage of accountants, lawyers, and artists. For example: my uncle, Atif Durakovic, is an ambitious artist who owns his own art gallery in Germany. Another example pertains to my grandparents; Sefika and Smijl Ceric who were accountants for over thirty years in various countries such as The Republic of Bosnia I Herzegovina, Austria, and Germany. This is both meaningful and surprising information to me; after all I am an accounting major and life-long artist.
It’s always fascinating to find out new and exciting information about family. Fascinating information like where they are from and how they have impacted the lives of others. However, there is no guarantee that everything a person discovers will be pleasant. After all, every family has a unique upbringing and background. Take my grandfather as an example, whose entire family was killed during the Second World War. Another example is my Grandfather, Grandmother, Aunt, and Uncle who were forced in front of a firing squad and nearly executed because they chose to pursue a religion other than Christianity. Another gloomy, unpleasant incident was with my uncle, Fehim Razim, a professional boxer whose promising boxing career was cut short due to a medical condition. While he was exchanging punches during one of his matches, his heart gave out and he slipped into a coma. Three months later, he finally opened his eyes only to be informed that he had heart complications and would not be allowed to return to the ring.
People can of course use genealogical research to validate those repetitive, yet intriguing stories they have heard throughout their lives. Growing up in my family meant hearing stories of my grandfather and stories of how our country was before the war. Many years later I decided to check out these stories to see if there was any truth behind them. After spending hours digging through records and sifting through vast amounts of information, I discovered them to be true. Among other thing, I found out that my Grandfather was in fact the director of the biggest shoe company in The Republic of Bosnia I Herzegovina and that my family had undisputable ties to politicians and celebrities all over Europe.
Genealogical research is an extremely versatile tool that many have used to find a bounty of rewarding and interesting insight into their ancestry.
also would like to know if the first sentance is a run-on or not, i dont think it is, however im not 100% sure.
also, does it make my point that genealogical research is rewarding and interesting?
its 2 pages long in word, MLA format. Wish it would transfer like that into jsp to make it easier to read.
Made a few capitalization changes and some grammatical changes, it's ok... Not a topic I am interested in, but that is just my personal opinion.
Also made some paragraph changes where you didn't need to make a new paragraph.
Bolded a part.
What war? Be specific.