So got this gigantic bug up my arse and started developing a story based on the game I'm conceptualizing. I don't suppose anyone knows of a forum (besides DA) where I could get some meaningful criticism and feedback on literary works? I exclude DA from this simply because of the whopping 2 views my submission received in a two week period. Thanks =)

You could post it here and a few regulars would hopefully provide some criticism.

However, if you want expert criticism then I highly suggest you post on FanFiction.net

It's a great website for the kind of story you are looking to create

Looks interesting. I appreciate the reply.