Bondage and chains are for the minds of babes.
Pain for pleasure is more of the same.
Talk is cheap and sexy is tawdry
I'll give u a clues to what is so naughty.

Slaughtery the ultimate thrill
Dare to go where no others will
Pro life is null if because. . .
the life you save kills yours.

Rough sex is sad game
think your tasty but
vanilla is just another word for plain
Make me cum so ill fell better
in the end your just a random letter

nothing to love and nothing to lose.

Iso collaboration/criticism

making it into an upbeat thrash metal song.

Personally, I think the lyrics don't belong as a metal song. Then again, when has anyone cared for the opinion of a furfag??

Things you should look into regardless:
"Pro life is null if because. . .
the life you save kills yours. "

Rewrite that, tis barely coherant.

"I'll give u a clues to what is so naughty."

I'll give you clues? I'll give you a clue?
Remove the "so" at the end of the line, it doesn't fit.

good criticism. I'm burning the song idea i was drunk. not that i'm sober right now.

-It's kind of cut-and-dry as far as creativity goes.
-Though good grammar isn't essential for poetry/lyrics, there are bits that really need some clarification (you want to make your point, or state something in some way)
-Slaughtery isn't a word. Unless you're paying homage to the belgian death metal band, which wouldn't make any sense, I suggest you find another word. Or maybe that 'y' just doesn't belong there.

Not to sound mean, but if I were to come across lyrics like "make me cum so I'll feel better" in a song, I'd probably write the whole band off as a joke.

When it comes to metal lyrics, clarity isn't always high priority. Descriptive, well-rounded thoughts work well, though.
Know what you want to say. Just don't come right out and say it.

FUCKING LOL