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  At five o’clock the big clock in the center of the office let out a loud bang which echoed magnificently over the seemingly countless number of desks and clerks. For them, the clock and its ring meant the end of the work day and offered an escape from the perpetual apathy they learned day after day.
 
  This couldn’t be truer for a young government clerk named Wilhelm. Wilhelm, a gaunt German fellow, had been a clerk at the local government post office for some 5 years. His primary task was to insure that the calls were routed to their destinations correctly. During his early days as a clerk he had a passion for the work and a respect for his post, but these virtues have long since deteriorated.
 
As a result, Wilhelm lived his life just to hear the ring of the bell. His entire day’s labor was conducted for the sole purpose of hearing the bell’s liberating cry; the monetary compensation came a distant second.
 
  The life of a clerk is a repetitiously methodical one, and Wilhelm often had a bitter laugh at the absurdity of a clerk’s existence being referred to as a “life”. To him, life meant the ability to think on his own and act on his own liberty; if he so pleased. The desolate career of clerkship allowed neither, and there was no escape to be had in the bureaucratic dungeon in which Wilhelm was confined every day.
 
  As he strolled out of the building, Wilhelm felt intoxicated. His body had left the building, but his mind remained in the mindset of the clerk. “Walk home, climb the stairs to my flat, open door, get ready for bed….” thought his mind, in a manner very much outside of his own mental autonomy.
 
And so he followed his program and began the walk home in the brisk Manhattan evening. “Perhaps when I get home I’ll read a page or two of poetry before bed…” he thought, faintly, as stood in wait on the corner for the road to clear.
 
  Wilhelm had a fine collection of books in his apartment, but had devolved beyond the point where he could appreciate them. Every night he would resolve (typically on the walk home) to rekindle his reading passion, and then; just as routine, he would abandon these thoughts. Instead he would sit in his lounge chair and gaze upon the lifeless tomes, thinking that even they, in their physical unanimity, possessed more life than he did.

Quote (succulentdesire @ Dec 5 2009 06:20am)

If you don't mind me saying so this is much better. This is a nice case of less is more. Yes you used a nice vocabulary but at the same time it was direct and simple. Not tedious at all. Good job

Quote (Kamahl16 @ Dec 6 2009 08:05pm)

Quote (succulentdesire @ Dec 7 2009 11:05pm)

please do hmmm... it's probably insignificant but I would change the 5 o'clock to 5 pm. the two clocks right after each other sound a little weird. but that's just a suggestion.  the other thing i wanted to ask you is why you used the word unanimity. what were you trying to say?

once again please never take my comments the wrong way, I'm a little picky sometime but I really just want to help