As some of you may of been able to judge from previous topics im quite diverse in what i like. And one of the things i do when i feel a bit down or low, Is use poetry to express how i feel. And that helps with dealing with things. I guess its a mechanism that i have of doing it, as im sure you all have your own.

Now some of my friends who have seen what i write have said its good and encourage me to write more. And look at maybe doing it seriously. But that is alot of time, and alot of effort so im not sure yet.

So i thought id share something i wrote here to get a view/opinion of the 'public' at large (forum community is a pretty random group so should provide an intresting view)

Pillars.

We all have our pillars, the people we hold high,
Like tree tops floating or birds in the sky.
These people carry us, through thick and through thin,
There here at the end, and here when it begins.

The pillar is there,
You are so thankful it's there.
It holds you up and keeps you together,
Want it to be there for ever, and ever.

There a shoulder to cry on, a friend who makes you smile,
With a joke or a song, or just being with you a while.
They pull you up from your lowest of lows,
And the rest of the world in ignorance, as there the only one who knows.

The pillar is there,
You are so thankful it's there,
It holds you up and keeps you together
Want it to be there for ever, and ever.

When they are there, you feel almost like a god,
You feel as if nothing can stop you, or kill you facade.
And when they leave you, you feel empty and hollow,
Like a triangle shape pill, which it pains you to swallow?

Because that pillar that you lean on isn't there,
You start to fall and to waver.
You start to close up, and not become braver.
You miss it, you need it.
You value it, and keep it.

What do you do, when that is gone?
You force you self to be strong.
Make efforts to advance and get better,
Move on, advance, Evolve, and improve.

You’re falling, the pillar turns to a memory,
And all you’re left with is quandary.
Where did it go or what is it doing?
How is it, and how is it going?

It's gone, that pillar isn't there.
Anymore.

Points/Thoughts/Feelings/Suggestions are all welcome , Both possitive and negative.

Dave.

Is this for a graduation speech?

No, I'm not kidding.

erm how is it a grad speech? i can kind of understand how you got to that idea. but did you even read the whole poem?

good job btw. i like it.

some parts the metre is off but looking at it wholisticly i enjoyed it.

This post was edited by nahmean on Jun 10 2009 08:43pm

No its not.

I can explain the idea of the poem, but i think that should be worked out by the reader

u dont need to explain anything, you dont leave anything for a reader to work out.. its pretty simple.
gz into your foray into poetry. poetics is a debated term but its prety safe to say you are being too direct, and not poetic, ie creative.
there are some moments that are interesting, but try to think about how easy it is to write about being "down" and stay away from that

hehe