"Waiting"

From time to time i sit and stare
Waiting for the moment when you decide to care.
Sometimes you flash a smile and i give a glance
but it seems i will forever be anticipating my chance.
I sit here wondering how you feel about me
Girl, time is ticking don't pass up the chance to see
All i can give is my heart, i want you to be its keeper.
As i give you my love, it allows you to fall in deeper
you become my temple, you are my love
Our feelings pure like that of a dove.
within you i shall forever confide
I am your groom and you my bride.
as this fairytale draws to a blissful conclusion
I realize this was all just an illusion.


"War"

My brothers bleed and cry tears of pain
Fighting a war that will never be for vain
Going into battle with neurotic thoughts
Using instinct and only what i have been tought.
grotesque nightmares is all reality in my head
Illusions that eat away at me endlessly being fed.
Murder has become instinct for me
I am the reaper of death, Here to collect my fee.
Walking through the battlefield with such a Ominous feel
Is this a misconception or can it be real?


"Goodbye"

From friends to lovers all so quick
As time passes the rage inside begins to tick.
Argument after argument i just wanted to let go
I wanted to let my anger unleash and flow
My thoughts were like specters haunting me for what felt like eternity
when all i really needed was to be physically set free.
Caged like a rat in a labyrinth of illusions
Every day that passes would be a day lost, waiting for a conclusion.
In the beginning i called you my angel from above
But now that its the end i can honestly say im not in love
It was a educational experience that has made me more wise
But that timer has expired and its now my turn to rise.
Day turns to evening as another day fades to black
Everyday i see that life without you is what i did truly lack.
Its easier and easier as the days pass by
Its about time we finally said "Goodbye".



Last one i made for my ex lol.

Definitely some promising potential, you're a natural poet. Keep it up, and keep writing.

Thanks man.

i agree about potential, but there is no such thing as a 'natural' poet.. its hard work baby. keep it up

If you want to be an actual poet, one that is timeless and you want your work to be good 200 years from now, don't write about your girlfirend...
seriously this sounds like something written in a love letter in jr high school that you never sent., or maybe a diary.
If you want to be good and influential try to learn to use your rhyme and meter convey what you are saying just as words are doing.
And DO NOT WRITE LOVE POETRY. Shakespeare may have written love poems, but they all had a universal truth masked in.

Also sucks

this was bad

not bad

i agree with this

for a rateing

8/10 on the first

7/10 on the second

and

5/10 on the last i didnt really like the last one