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May 5 2009 08:57am
Quote (eriot @ Sun, 5 Oct 2008, 16:12)
a god in the hands of an angry sinner - iyrn iheif
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i dread the snow that i once loved
now i know how cold can feel
and snow sees how love can repeal
and coldly storms; begs its redress

across the field, hare flees its foes
extending steps with its vertebral column
he could snap with a crack or a blow
but snow too white, all lost of sight..

winter swept and fled as always
left me for dead or a thing to toy with,
whispering jaculations to the night.

hare paused as i came up to beg,
for food and sleep at a place of rest-
my injury's sake its heart embraced
and filled my cup with brimming love-
as sweetly as first bites of apples

but then it turned mundanely sour
my tongues such a brilliant coward
hare was hale fleeing winters tail
but now just hails in winter's cell

he went to hell at my command
i didnt mean to condemn his soul
nor cold expunge, from my crisp world
that once in bounty flourished forth

i fit the shard into the globe..
and go to hell too, for repose
or also to be idiot-like fair
and to finally put up all my snares

for love i can not help but bear
its return or at least a playful 'fair
now on a stage i lie visibly
for his eye to cast upon my flesh
my corpse proffered to burn afresh

my heart's empress i'd do not less
than this, a tentacled pretense
oh yes, i did much jest. i truly despise u.
u huddling mess. u cancer'd breast.
i'd kick you in the teeth for how
u fucked me innocently rough

but now i even miss utility's price
for much dearth is the wintry ice
this heat do be as poison'd as
juliet's deathly wailing loss

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note to reader
i stomped this out w/out editing, im posting to pose this question,
what do you perceive this poem to be about? im curious how it strikes ppl.
theres no right answer ofc


Wow that's great, very different in rhythm, I would love to quote this poem on my website if that's ok. To me, and maybe I'm a little biased to my own experience, but reading it made me feel like you are struggling to grasp this dream, fighting against shades of opposition. You know it's there and you want it, you need it, but you can't get it. You decide in frustration not to go after it anymore, but then you realise that the thing that you are struggling so hard to get... is yourself... and you also know that you will never attain it.
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Posts: 4,303
Joined: Apr 13 2009
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May 5 2009 09:01am
Quote (The_Disputatious_Linguist @ Tue, 5 May 2009, 08:57)
Wow that's great, very different in rhythm, I would love to quote this poem on my website if that's ok. To me, and maybe I'm a little biased to my own experience, but reading it made me feel like you are struggling to grasp this dream, fighting against shades of opposition. You know it's there and you want it, you need it, but you can't get it. You decide in frustration not to go after it anymore, but then you realise that the thing that you are struggling so hard to get... is yourself... and you also know that you will never attain it.


I found this on the last page of this forum, and I thought it was great so i reposted, hope Eriot doesn't mind lol.
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