Dear Diary,
Today, Darth_Fvcker my hammerdin employer discharged me from service for my brother Vikhyat because i wasnt leveling fast enough and Vikhyat had holy freeze aura. I packed up my bags in Darth_Fvcker's mansion and left. It was the best place in my life! And his numerous wives were beautiful! And even though his kids in the 'Apehouse' were annoying, i miss them, especially Tiny Smitez.
It isnt fair. Why dont i level fast enough in baalruns?
This is so not fair. It was not my fault. I hate Darth_Fvcker's guts. I wanna kill him. I wanna thrust my former sexy insight cv into his butt. I wanna kill my self. And now im stuck back in Lut Gholein with smelly Greiz and his roast death beetles. They smell like shit.
Luckily, the next day, a barb hired me. Finally i can get out of Lut Gholein and run around in the big wide world.
To my surprise, the barb was a faggot. He tried to rape me in my sleep. This was what happened.
Emilio: OMG what the f*** are u doing?
Barb: well what do u mean sonny?
E: You stupid faggot! I dont wanna be your merc anymore!!!
B: Greiz told me that his mercs would do my every command. That's not true so ill guess i get a a1 merc.
E: Go ahead! I dont wanna be a faggot!! Wahhhhhhh!
B: Then get out, you arab, before i rape you!
And i ran out crying. It was the worst week of my life. I got dumped by my role model, Darth_Fvcker and then i almost got raped by a faggot.
Life is not fair. I wish i could just end it, but i keep on reviving.
I told my other brother Azrael about this. He laughed cruelly at me and said, "Go get some work, loser. You shame the family!"
And i began crying again in my bed. Why am i such a cry baby!
To my horror, my father, Fazel came in and saw me crying when he came home from work at Darth_Fvcker's mansion. He was ashamed to see me as a crybaby. Warriors from our family never cry.
"Son, you shame our family by crying," Fazel stated in his creaky old voice. "Dont cry. Warriors from our family have served Paladins, Sorceresses, Barbarians, Assassins, Druids, and Necroamncers for generations. No doubt you will get work soon."
"Thanks daddy. Do you know any gay barbs?"
"Yeah. Why?"
"I got hired by one... Do you remember his name?"
"Hmmmm. Let me think. O ya, his name was Qual-Kekh."
"OMG! you mean that old man in a5?"
"Ya why?"
"He tried to rape me!"
"You idiot! Then why didnt you sue him?"
"OK"
And so i sued Qual-Kekh. He pleaded guilty and paid the fine of 550 fg for attempted aggravated sexual assault. I was rich!
Now things could only get better! Mwahahahahaha!
Your merc faithfully,
Emilio Fazelson
PS: Plz hire Emilio in a2