I normally stay far away from sad subjects but it just happened like this.

Think hard I rarely give many hints in my poems. For me it's more about the feeling than form or even diction, anyways I hope it's all congruent enough

For What Is Not There

Her trepid hands fluttered to her mouth
Broken butterflies that rose fell south


A dying songbird a whimper flew
From out her chest a noise so blue


Just empty eyes on vulture-visage
Bone white face laden with an image


A crafted stare a harmless question
Now only left with blank expression.

Any comments?

its really really good
10/10

the language makes me think of ovid's metamorphoses and the rape of philomela.
the irony is tepid, i hate how u made me say image "ee mahj" to fit visage,
love the title, glad to finally see a ambiguator in bls. thats a compliment by my standards
i think u need to worry less about having fitting grammar mebe.

ie

Broken butterflies that rose fell south
broken butterflies rose fell south

Just empty eyes on vulture-visage
jus empty eyes vultured visage

and i think this line sounds better as
A dying songbird a whimper flew
a dying songbird's whimper flew

theres no right style ofc, jus minor preferences
one thing i would press is the use of commas tho. direct how u want it read a lil

I like your changes, I forced myself to use 9 syllables on every line because I normally ended up with a twisted tongue after reading some of my pieces. I need to rewrite with concern for pacing but adjust it to flow more effortlessly, hope you don't mind if I steal some of your suggestions :]

P.s. visage has no perfect rhymes :S

mebe not so much in american english, cos its a french word. fromage, entourage, quel age, mirage, massage, therz plenty
rhyme isnt wat makes or breaks a contemporary poem anyway