Well I wrote this and some people told me it was good. Lemme hear your opinion.
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Moisture condenses on the corner of my eyes, this wetness is not forgein to my flesh.
A river of tears percipitates down my cheeks, through the canyons made from past experiences.

What could have caused a current so strong?

My eyes swell up as the water evaporates, leaving dryness and pain in the corner where life once lived. My thoughts have gone down the river, my hopes evaporated into the air. But soon there will be new rivers to run, and new thoughts to wash down.

So as water continues in its cycle, so do my thoughts and hopes of her.
Always present, and never being washed down the river forever.

these ppl honestly did not read much poetry. this is not good. i assume u havent spent much time writing. if u wana write something good, ur gona need to have a lot more practice.

It's not that bad, just written in an unusual style. Fairly nice work e1337

Actually I wrote this for a english class when we were doing poetry....I never said I was good lol

Thanks you...and I like the sig. 3OH!3 ftw

i think its nice =)

Poetry is not merely rhyme or sentimental prose: it's a strict art-form. I'm not so sure what you've written is poetry, sorry to sound so elitist.

That aside, you've used a bizzarely copious amount of scentific language, which pollutes the metaphor and similie for me. I don't really understand the direction of the poem. Don't worry about the criticism; you'd be a genius if you'd written 'good poetry' so quickly.

As it stands I find it slightly sophomoric I have to say, heh :>

This post was edited by Masquer on Dec 25 2008 10:45pm

i liked it.

i write some "ameture" poetry too.

It's great for starting. Prose takes decades to accomplish on the "good" level you are seeking.

Don't give up.