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Joined: Jun 27 2007
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Sep 14 2008 04:45pm
Hey, My name is Ben and I would like opinions on my following two sonnets, thanks. If your not familiar with sonnets, I can give you a quick run-down: The rhyme scheme of a sonnet must be ABAB CDCD EFEF GG, sonnets always have exactly 14 lines, each line must have exactly 10 syllables, and it must be about love. My sonnets are dedicated to a special someone...

Contradiction

If confusion was fire I‘d be cinder,
I blame only myself for this blunder.
Fire, blazes with my heart being tinder,
When near my chest resonates as thunder.

A kind person would conclude my despair,
But a wise would expose my concealed love.
Ultimately, my words are light as air,
That guides the wings of the vivid white dove.

My fear of rejection trumps my feelings,
Through which we focus our lives’ energies.
I desire your quite sensitive healing,
Being I could harness my synergies.

Will I be perpetually perplexed?
Will you allow me to be your annex?


Courting Temptation

If bliss denies me, I cannot pursue.
For what can supplement this ecstasy,
An ecstasy that your presence imbues,
May only be a private fantasy.

Skin that illuminates the darkest room,
Eyes that penetrate the most somber man,
Psyche of a genius fully abloom,
But character that even ensnares pan.

Your presence augments my self-confidence,
Calm is my disposition in your wake,
Exultant with your infinite patience,
Spellbound, for your eyes are ever-deep lakes.

Death may become of me, yet I prevail,
I pursue bliss without any avail.

Member
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Sep 15 2008 02:47pm
Bump
Member
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Sep 15 2008 06:04pm
dont care for em
Member
Posts: 70
Joined: Nov 1 2007
Gold: 94.00
Sep 16 2008 09:03am
Nice I like the second one the best, its sweet biggrin.gif
Member
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Joined: Dec 7 2007
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Sep 16 2008 11:07pm
not bad. but they are not sonnets. ur meter needs to be changed to iambic. wont be that hard to do really. and will sound much better.
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