☰
d2jsp
Rules
Help
Forum Gold FAQ
Live Streams
Photo Gallery
Hourly Raffle
Ladder Slasher
Log In
Register
Log In
Register
Account Recovery
Resend Validation Email
d2jsp Forums
>
Off-Topic
>
Entertainment Room
>
Books & Literature
>
Poll > The Last Stanza Of A Poem I Wrote > Rate This Excerpt Of A Poem I Wrote
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll
Views: 236
Replies: 5
Track Topic
Guests cannot view or vote in polls. Please
register
or
login
.
jjarv
Member
Posts: 23,605
Joined: Mar 23 2006
Gold
:
42.00
#1
Nov 28 2007 01:12am
I don't want to post my whole poem, but taken from this tiny section, what do you think?
So now I walk
In realization of my truth
For i am bound by the shackles of materialism
I cannot covet emotion
Which has destined to keep me poor forever
Conri
Member
Posts: 17,700
Joined: Feb 25 2007
Gold
:
0.00
#2
Nov 28 2007 01:17am
Can't really say much but from this little snippet it sounds ok to me.
dysgenics
Member
Posts: 12,665
Joined: Nov 5 2006
Gold
:
4.01
#3
Dec 3 2007 10:16am
sounds good but without the rest you cant make a clear decision...
Borednow
Member
Posts: 656
Joined: Oct 26 2007
Gold
:
245.50
#4
Dec 5 2007 10:57am
-6-
warbirth
Member
Posts: 1,738
Joined: Jul 9 2007
Gold
:
157.00
#5
Dec 5 2007 11:09am
I think it's pretty decent. If you take out the "For" in the third line, it would make a little bit more sense.
dysgenics
Member
Posts: 12,665
Joined: Nov 5 2006
Gold
:
4.01
#6
Dec 11 2007 07:15pm
wanna maybe add some more so that we can give you a better answer...it looked pretty damn good to me...
Go Back To
Books & Literature
Topic List
Add Reply
New Topic
New Poll
© 2003-2026 d2jsp
Contact