*Disclaimer No, I'm not going to kill myself*

Title: echos conjured from inside my head


For quite some time, the idea has purged my mind.
I can't believe the choices that have unfolded; I'm going to listen to the voice.
It’ll be over with in an instant, it's for the better of man kind.
I'll stand behind you until the end, my hand resting on your shoulder. Just make the final choice.


Spit out your final prayer, say your final plea.
Just between you and me, I think you're a filthy fucking disgrace.
Say good bye to your loved ones, the hurt you gave them serves no place amongst the free.
Despite your fears, stare threw the collar. Within this instant you'll be boundless from this place.


My head is held up high while it's fastened secure.
With a quick descent the knot tears into my neck.
I start to freeze...was this really the only cure?
"Daddy!" I cry out...only air escapes. My feet are scraping the deck.


My cadaver stays motionless, our fluids expel.
The bloodline busts in, vicious they throw up. I watch as they lachrymose and turn ghost white.
I lay in Agony; the final cry I hear is…farewell.
Speculating from the corner; grinning ear to ear. What other families can I demolish tonight?



This is my favorite poem now.
Any c/c at all is welcomed.

This post was edited by 7_Deadly_Sins on Sep 1 2008 10:37pm

It starts off like you're mad at someone else--some "you"--but then it's your head held up high later. First off, it's scary--I hope you're not contemplating suicide! Assuming not, it's a vivid poem that presents a surprise. I'd probably call it a "schizophrenic style", but that's mainly because there's this voice inside and there's this desire to leave the world and break up a/the/your family. And yet there's this idea of regret about harms as well, which is where I'm not sure if the first half of the poem is meant to connect concretely to the second half. But as one changes voices, perhaps one changes places or moods--even intentions.

The second half is jarring and very descriptive, but in a way it's what really make the peom better for me. Of course, the conclusion is a bit distubring. Definitely more gripping than most of the other poems!

~~By 'schizophrenic' I'm not saying it's bad. I'm seeing something different in the mode of thought/feeling and presentation--something that gives the poem a very unique feel.

Good work Stay alive!

Thanks alot, your comments are always godly.
Nah not going to kill myself, I got a interest in this type of stuff and have for a while. So I finally wanted to write something that would reflect that, and I could post public. I wrote a few for a private person, and not gona post them any where.
I was actually kinda concerned about posting it just because of what you said, dont want people to think I'm in need of mental help. But I wanted to write something shocking, and I did just that.

Wow John this poem has left me speachless, i have honestly sat here a few minutes trying to think of something to say and i couldnt think of one thing except this poem is amazing in many different levels. I love the emotion and feeling of this poem it makes you think different in many ways.
John you are absolutely amazing, every time you write a poem i think he cant make any better ones and boom you just always suprise me!

~hassan

I like them John, VN1

Thanks alot m8s. I love the encouragement.

Very similair to a poem of my own that I have written a video script to and hope to act out soon.

Shocking, descriptive and well written.

Doesn't seem to have a good flow but I assume it's like my own poetry where sometimes you have to have the author read it aloud to understand the beat/rhythm.

vnice piece bro

Thanks alot man, my poems never have a good flow honestly. haha.
Well to me they do, I always sing them when I write them, so that's proabley why.

CENSORED FOR PRIVACY (10:23:41 PM): "john, your poems make me think you're gay. and it still turns me on."


Good times, good times.


Sexy poem ofc, you know my thoughts on it m8 xD!

u might be interested in reading poe
the 2nd half of your work would be improved with suspense
he does a lot of sinister stuff that is pure suspense

in case this is helpful, the change in voice in the third stanza is.. almost counteractive to your first 2 stanzas, which sound more.. feverish and confidant of hate.
i gather this is about your father. personally i think guilt trip sort of works that appeal to consciences are more powerful than invective.. but thats cos im a slut