So I Just Wrote This - Topic

Spyderz

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#11

Oct 30 2007 02:28pm

Quote (maple_owner32 @ Sat, Jul 21 2007, 02:10am)

Tell me you love me.

Tell me you care.

Tell me you want me.

Tell me you'll always be there.

Tell me what you think of me.

Tell me what you know.

Tell me what you like about me.

Tell me you'll still be here tomorrow.

Tell me things you dont tell me.

Tell me things you wouldnt say.

Tell me things you couldnt tell me

Tell me you'll be with me,To stay.

its alright, i see your attempting to rhyme though, me and me doesnt rhyme

Engalius

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#12

Oct 31 2007 12:46pm

first and last verses are nice imo

second....must be changed a little^^

Ferguson

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#13

Nov 7 2007 04:36pm

Quote (Engalius @ Wed, Oct 31 2007, 06:46pm)

first and last verses are nice imo

second....must be changed a little^^

i agree i like the last line in the first section

i dont no why

it just calls to me lol

JaysonL

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#14

Nov 17 2007 10:18am

7/10

dimple

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#15

Nov 20 2007 05:38pm

Misfit77_83

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#16

Nov 21 2007 08:38am

emo Q.Q

DefCore

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#17

Nov 23 2007 07:10am

kinda simple isnt it?

Madstrike

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#18

Nov 23 2007 03:08pm

It looks like a child wrote it... so if you are under 10 years old Id say its a good one, if you are over... well then its just pathethic... rhymes are also not crucial in poems...

GrahamC

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#19

Nov 25 2007 09:02am

not claiming that you stole it somewhere, which you probably didnt, but that sounds familiar to me

Toilet

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