So I started this story round abouts three years ago, and at this point I have 10 pages of material in word.
Anyway, I keep going back to the beginning and fixing things that sound weird to me, so I don't make much progress when I actually sit down to write.
Here is the latest version of the introduction.
A loud explosion pierces the airwaves, and a bright light appears overhead. A man looks down at the cell phone he is carrying as it shocks him, and he lets the device fly from his hand. It seems as though a thousand rockets are taking off from the building he’s standing by. There’s another explosion, only this time there’s no bright light. This blast sends a strange, gelatinous substance soaring in every direction. The man falls to the ground, unmoving. The stillness after the momentary commotion is unnerving.
Unexpectedly, the man twitches. He puts his hands flat against the ground and pushes up. I catch sight of his face. It’s only been mere seconds since the explosions, but somehow he’s different. His face is riddled with spots both pale and black. The man’s nose is hanging by a thin piece of cartilage leaving an abysmal hole in the center of his face. He pushes up the rest of the way and gets his feet underneath the rest of his body. The ghastly corpse staggers towards me with arms outstretched. I want to get to my feet and run, but my body doesn’t want to move. Another explosion sounds as a brick flies through the air, knocking the man’s head clean off his shoulders. The body crumples to the ground and its head rolls towards me, coming to a stop inches from my face. I see a bloody blue-tooth earpiece sparking on the side of the head. Another blindingly bright light arrives. Once again, an eerie silence fills the air accompanied by a heavy darkness.
Let me know what you think ; )
This post was edited by furbyjs on Oct 1 2012 09:07pm