Hello! I noticed your request for more feedback, and as a writer myself, I can totally understand. Feedback is always pivotal to the writing process, and I intend to do just that. Within the first few opening lines, I found myself drawn in, and before I get into the specifics, I really did enjoy reading your short story. Let's talk first about your strengths. You did a particularly good job of describing a scene, and considering this is a Zombie/ Survival Horror story, it is important to note that the setting and carful introduction of this dark and eerie world is essential. Fortunately, you do this very well. I could feel the desperation and darkness of this frightening world, and although the characters aren't perfectly developed, it doesn't quite matter because it isn't a character driven story, nor should it be. The focus is not upon the people of this world, but the world itself. While the narrative and the "voice" of the narrator is very well done, the dialogue is lacking in sophistication. This is always a difficult task, so don't feel bad at all. Only extremely talented writers like Quentin Tarantino can masterfully create compelling dialogue. Additionally, some of the plot points appeared a bit rushed, as it is not structured in a traditional story arc. Needless to say, there is nothing wrong with writing unconventionally. Also, I would seriously encourage you to continue writing, and quite frankly, it's very important that you focus more on the world in which your book takes place. I enoyed reading this and I hope this helps!