These are the first four poems I've ever written. Enjoy and please let me know what you think.
Number #3 is probably my favorite, and number #5 isn't really a poem but I love it.

#1
The usual conditions for a condemnation
An ominous and gloomy night
Graced by the whipping and whirs of sound
Followed by dead silence throughout
No escape, never a way out
My back is burned by the gleam of hidden eyes
An attractive Medusa, an avatar of my greatest fear
Turning my muscles into rigid fossils
No escape, never a way out
My face begins to turn red
A compliment to the crimson pool beneath my feet
Torture, pain, suffering
These words are weak
No escape, never a way out
Stranded within time itself
I am left to wonder what I had done to deserve this
And how to plan an escape
No escape, never a way out
He has not neglected me, but just the opposite
Hell was birthed and fostered by the hand of man
And there is never a way out.

#2
Lying in my footprints and underneath my shoes
Are memories soon forgotten along with those evoked
Walking no longer matters it’s where the walking goes
“The light at the end of the tunnel” they said as they joked
They did not care about the end, it was past their toes
The words which came from their mouths, they wish they had revoked
Something they did not expect, something to their woes
That light at the end of the tunnel, turns out it was cloaked

#3
He climbs up a ladder determined to reach the top
Always glancing down though, never will stop

Cheers from the bottom reaching his ears
Make his pace quicken, he loses all fears

Just near the end he stumbles and shakes
His friends beneath him steady the ladder to fix his mistakes

Now at the top, not looking back down
He kicks the ladder over, which breaks at the ground

The people below bellow and groan
They turn away as he sits on his throne

#4
A doctor. An engineer. What will you be?
A ploy to make money is what most see.

All those people desire the same
Wealth, looks, a minute of fame

A child named Chet, they send him to school
To his dad’s alma mater, he’s such a tool

The cycle again, Doctor Chet Junior,
You can see the pride of good, old Chet Senior

But what good is it to make so much money,
So your sons and daughters can bathe in pure honey?

You can safeguard it and hide it away,
For your grandchildren and their children someday

The same family name,
More and more fame

But as you count and stack money up high,
There are people dying of hunger nearby

It would make me distraught living like that
I just want food to eat and to block rain, a good hat

Greed is the death of the caring man
Money is how greed began

It’s nothing evil, all people need it
Those who breed greed though, money doesn’t see fit

Feeling humble and sad for the beggarly
I’m giving up the life sought for regularly

I don’t want to be a Doctor Chet the Third
And have cabinets stocked with holy grails of the haggard

Money is common, my life is rare
I’m livin’, I’m lovin’ and other that that I really don’t care

#5
When my life flashes before my eyes, I want it to be better than any movie I have ever seen.
I want it to make my heart pump faster than any action movie.
I want it to make me laugh harder than any comedy.
I want it to make me cry more than any tragedy.
I want it to make me be more afraid than any thriller.
Then, I can die happy.


For anyone that actually reads all of this, I you.

This post was edited by HolyXfire on Mar 12 2009 12:22am

the first one didnt strike me at anything

to me it was just a bunch of words stuck together


the second one was ok altho there was way to much okes and oes

the third one i liked altho it could have been a lil better


the fourth one i loved it had meaning and flowed really well

5th one meh i liked it but it was to short for my taste

keep up the good work tho


~Chronicbear~

tyty

#6
There is something I see when I close my eyes
My own thoughts take me by surprise.
It is beautiful, the idea I have
With no way to express it,
But stop and stare blankly.
Nothing I do can help others see
What potential this has for you and for me
But that is okay, maybe its better this way.
What makes this so beautiful is that it is mine
For all eternity, to the end of time
No one to argue about the details
No fickle conversation of “Why do you do?”
I’d love to share; I wish I could, too
But trying would make me want to pull out my hair.
I want to tell everyone, but that’s not what this is about
Just me and myself to figure it out.

I kinda like this.
More opinions please!

fags write poems

you could die today, but your words will live forever

i liked 3 & 4 the most

they're all good in their own way though, regardless of how poetic they are

don't stop what you're doing... ever...

Thanks for the support bro

still likeing it

so keep up the good work



agreed

This post was edited by chonicbear on Mar 16 2009 06:56am

Maynard is a bad writer, focus on yourself as opposed to what he would write. What will YOU write after this, and will it be worth reading..? I see nothing particularly worthy of mention but the fact that you write at all means something, so uhm keep writing and spread out your influences.

Tool is a pretty much a drug influenced band so of course the lyrics are gonna be kinda fucked up, but I see where you're coming from