Went to Amsterdam with a mate of mine for 6 days.
First night we were there we got drunk as fuck... went on a pub crawl. Checked out some of the women in the windows in the Red Light District... that shit is unbelievable, if you make eye contact at all they automatically try and drag you in. Then we decided that we should go see a sex show... you can't go there and not check out a show. So we go in, we get 4 complimentary drinks, we sit down and are watching some girl getting fucked. It's seedy as fuck, feels wrong almost.
So, that act finishes and another girl comes on stage and starts doing a strip tease... then she says she needs a volunteer, guess who got up on stage.... yep, me. So I get up and we start dancing, then she sticks a banana in her pussy and gets me to eat it.... I was drunk as fuck so of course it was a good idea to get up in front of 100's of randomers and eat a banana out of a strippers pussy.
So after that we leave and we're walking around... you will get offered cocaine and exstacy every 2 fucking minutes.... so me and my mate decided to have some fun with one guy who offered us some stuff. We asked him to get us some heroin, obviously we were thinking "what's something that wouldn't be readily available and is probably the most insane fucking drug out there....". So he brings us to a bakery about 15 minutes away and shit starts to get real, he goes in and talks to some guy and comes out holding a bag of heroin. Me and my mate straight away knew we had to get out of that situation.... so after we get out of there the cops pulled up literally 2 seconds later. We thought we were fucked... turned out it was all good.
Some things I learned about Amsterdam though:
1. Getting heroin is easy
2. Asking a guy where the best place to go to torture hookers is a completely valid question and they will actually try to think of somewhere (again, we were obviously joking)... turns out there isn't actually anywhere to do it, bummer
3. People will hustle you like fuck so you gotta be smart
4. It's impossible to walk down the road without smelling weed. It's also impossible to walk into a bar, and to walk out without smelling like weed.
Overall it was a pretty crazy week. Definitely somewhere I would advise people to see just purely for the cultural shock difference.
- CSB