I am graduating this spring and going to a career fair where I will be meeting recruiters from various companies. I am having some difficulties making my simple "Profile" section sound fluent, it is currently the following:

"Soon to be college graduate that is highly motivated to obtain an entry-level position that will build upon and utilize my collegiate studies focusing in business administration and finance."

On a resume can I start a sentence with soon, and also is it okay to use "my" even though it changes the tone.

I think it would be a good idea to stress the field more. You wait until the end to say buisness and finance. Imo it should be one of the first things stated.

A graduating senior looking for an entry level position in buisness administration and finance.

Also it seems quite wordy. The phraae that is highly motivated to obtain seems unnecessary long.

A highly motivated, soon to be graduate, looking for an entry level position in buisness administration and finance that will utilize and build upon my acedemic experience.

I might try something like that. Just a bit of my initial thought process. Feel free to pm me.

I would stay away from profiles on resumes and focus on highlighting your skills, education, notable projects, and work experience. Save the intro for an elevator pitch when you actually talk to employers at the career fair.

If you haven't graduated yet contact your tutor/mentor. I'm pretty sure this is their cup of tea also. You also have a fairly great pool of people that are in your year, I assume, unless it's a post-master, and I'm sure one of your fellow students has the solution to your problem.