http://www.wattpad.com/45119584-pooh-craves-more-than-honey
Wrote a little short story for one of my classes, need to know what people think before i turn it in

Honestly I can't tell if this is a joke...

I liked it, submit that shit.

i guess im going to submit it, overall had decent feedback, im just worried i didnt develop the protagonist enough, and maybe i could add a little more dialogue

This post was edited by Bigdaddy1117 on Apr 12 2014 12:35pm

Yeah, more dialogue is a good idea, it will show pooh's ruthlessness and it will amplify the fear piglet should be feeling.

fear isnt the only thing piglet felt

still looking for a little more feedback on this