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May 7 2013 07:32pm
Anyone here very good at english and willing to ' proof read ' my work? Like I would send my drafts as I go to get input / feedback.
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May 8 2013 12:15am
how many pages/ words/fg (possibly)? i might have the tme for it later
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May 9 2013 04:35am
He never responded to the pm ):

Quote (Michael515 @ May 8 2013 01:15am)
how many pages/ words/fg (possibly)? i might have the tme for it later


If you see errors etc. Do point out! Don't be scared wont hurt my feelings.. all opinions welcomed (as long as constructive) Also is my MLA right for my sources? I think not :X Not sure.

TARGET:
Code
Analyze a visual argument to show the creator uses various rhetorical and visual
techniques to persuade an audience.


PAPER:
Code
Name
Prof. Name
English 1
5/08/2013

       Oh my gosh, a talking baby! This is the kind of reaction E-Trade seeks with its commercials. E-Trade uses a brilliant technique of using a baby as its “spokesperson” in order to fully capture the viewer’s attention. E-Trade’s advertisements appeals to its viewers emotions, keeping them fully attentive for the entire duration of the commercial.E-Trade commercials typically revolve around the message of saving money, something everyone would like to do. E-Trade commercials follow a common theme of a baby on who is sitting on a highchair in front of a webcam, talking to you about how easy it was for him to save money, while using a perfect amount of humor. E-Trade does advertising right using ‘baby related’ humor as well as keeps each commercial interesting while still managing to get their point across each time.
It’s hard not to laugh when you see a baby who probably can’t even walk, talking to you about how E-Trade can help you invest your stocks in order to save even more cash. When the baby is talking it isn’t a direct approach about how E-Trade works, rather a humorous entertaining skit, that really captures your attention. A particular E-Trade commercial that really stands out is the E-Trades 2013 Super Bowl commercial, when they synced up a song with the advertisement. This particular commercial stood out because of the choice of the song, Drinking from the Bottle by Calvin Harris, picking this song was very witty humor, a signature of E-Trade. E-Trade also picked this song because it went really good with the commercial, in the particular scene the music was playing the commercial was displaying the “good life” in which everything displayed visually was very random, party like, wealthy, and care free.E-Trade is very consistent at picking certain ‘baby related’ humor that really amplifies the viewer’s appeal.

E-Trade’s commercials always keep their commercials interesting; E-Trade switches up certain aspects of their commercials to help break up the monotony of their commercial. A perfect example of them switching it up was in the commercial E-Trade Baby First Class, they not only used a different baby actor than the original E-Trade commercials, but they also changed up the normal baby room in front of a computer aspect. In this particular case the baby was flying first class on an airplane, coming back from a party with his friend. This simple change in scenery and character is enough to break up the normal E-Trade commercial style, with something unique for E-Trade. We see this a lot in E-Trades commercials; whether they add more babies for a conversation, switching up which baby spokesperson they use, or even adding grownups who directly interact with the babies. These simple changes may not seem like they would keep a commercial interesting, but this really helps people who have seen a lot of E-Trade commercials want to view more.
      Simple yet getting its point across is something E-Trade accomplishes with every commercial. Looking back at the E-Trade Baby First Class commercial, the message they intended to convey was “upgrade to first class investing technology at E-trade.” This message worked really well with this particular commercial because the baby was riding in first class prior to this message. E-Trade keeps their commercials simple, lacking complexity so that the viewers are able to correlate what has happened in the commercial, and then tie all of it together, forming the point. A perfect example of how they do this is in the commercial E-Trade Golf Baby when the baby just got done winning a game against someone who just retired; this retired golfer has been using a retirement plan that doesn’t work making the concluding message “get a retirement plan that works with E-Trade.” Another way to look at this commercial was to focus on the winning and losing of the game of golf they just played, the winner of the game had E-Trade and the loser of the game had something other than E-Trade. The style used in this commercial is the same style they use to get their point across in every commercial; E-Trade will somehow benefit you economically.
After each E-Trade commercial it is a real challenge to resist laughter from all the witty humor they use throughout. E-Trade is also really good at keeping their commercials interesting from start to finish in each of their commercials. With perfection E-Trade is able to execute its commercials resulting in their point getting acrossed. E-Trade really does advertisement right throughout their commercials using the right amount of humor each time, keeping it interesting each commercial while managing to get their point across each time.










Citations:

“E-Trade Baby Game Day Commercial - Save It” YouTube: E-Trade, 29 Jan. 2013. Web. 8 Mar.
2013.

“E--Trade Baby Game Day Commercial – First Class” YouTube: E-Trade, 10 Feb. 2010
Web. 8 Mar. 2013.

“E--Trade Baby Game Day Commercial – Golf Baby” YouTube: E-Trade, 19 Feb. 2010. Web. 8
Mar. 2013.


EDIT: Mind the indentation / spacing

This post was edited by Noobtard on May 9 2013 04:37am
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May 9 2013 05:52am
Quote
Name
Prof. Name
English 1
5/08/2013

      Oh my gosh, a talking baby! This is the kind of reaction E-Trade seeks with its commercials.The company uses a brilliant technique of using a baby as its “spokesperson” in order to fully capture the viewer’s attention. E-Trade’s advertisements appeals to its viewers emotions, keeping them fully attentive for the entire duration of the commercial. E-Trade commercials typically revolve around the message of saving money, something everyone would like to do. The said advertisements follow a common theme of a baby onsitting  on a highchair in front of a webcam, talking to the viewer about how easy it was for it to save money, while using a perfect amount of humor. E-Trade does advertising right using ‘baby related’ humor as well as keeps each commercial interesting while still managing to get their point across each time.
It’s hard not to laugh when you see a baby who probably can’t even walk, talking to the viewer about how E-Trade can help you invest your stocks in order to save even more cash. The advertisement's goal is not to inform the viewer about how E-trade works, but rather attempts to create a humorous entertaining skit, that really capturesthe viewer's attention. A particular E-Trade commercial that really stands out is the E-Trades 2013 Super Bowl commercial, in which there is a song synced up with the advertisement. This particular commercial stood out because of the choice of the song; Drinking from the Bottle by Calvin Harris. Picking this song wasan example of a very witty humor, a signature of E-Trade.The company also picked this song because it suited the commercial well. For example, there is a particular scene in the commercial during which the music is playing and the video displays the “good life;” a very random succession of scenes that make the actors look like wealthy and care-free party animals.E-Trade is very consistent at picking certain ‘baby related’ humor that really amplifies the viewer’s appeal.

E-Trade always manages to keep their commercials interesting; the company[/b] switches up certain aspects of their commercials to help break up the monotony of their commercial. A perfect example of them switching it up was in the commercial E-Trade Baby First Class. Not only did they use a different baby actor than the original E-Trade commercials, but they also changed up the normal baby room in front of a computer aspect. In this particular case the baby was flying first class on an airplane, coming back from a party with his friend. This simple change in scenery and character is enough to break up the regular E-Trade commercial style, with something unique for E-Trade. We see this a lot inthe company's commercials; whether they add more babies for a conversation, switch up which baby spokesperson they use, or even adding grownups who directly interact with the babies. These simple changes may not seem like they would keep a commercial interesting, but this really helps people who have seen a lot of E-Trade commercials want to view more.
    Keep their commercials simple while still getting its point across is something E-Trade accomplishes every time. Looking back at the E-Trade Baby First Class commercial, the message they intended to convey was “upgrade to first class investing technology at E-trade.” This message worked really well with this particular commercial because the baby was riding in first class prior to this message. E-Trade keeps their commercials simple, lacking complexity so that the viewers are able tocomprehend what has happened in the advertisement. At the same time, the commercials manage to convey enough information to get their point across. A perfect example of how they do this is in the commercial E-Trade Golf Babyin which the baby just won a game against someone who just retired. This retired golfer has been using a retirement plan that does not work, making the concluding message “get a retirement plan that works with E-Trade.” Another way to look at this commercial is to focus on the winning and losing of the game of golf they just played; the winner of the game had E-Trade and the loser of the game had something other than E-Trade. The message they try to convey through the advertising is nearly identical in all of their commercials: E-Trade will somehow benefit you economically.
The real challenge of E-trade commercials starts after the advertising is done, namely, trying to stop the laughter. E-Trade is also really good at keeping their commercials interesting from start to finish every time.E-Trade is able to execute its commercials resulting in their point getting across with perfection. E-Trade really does advertisement right throughout their commercials using the right amount of humoreach time, keeping it interesting each commercial while managing to get their point across each time.










Citations:

“E-Trade Baby Game Day Commercial - Save It” YouTube: E-Trade, 29 Jan. 2013. Web. 8 Mar.
2013.

“E--Trade Baby Game Day Commercial – First Class” YouTube: E-Trade, 10 Feb. 2010
Web. 8 Mar. 2013.

“E--Trade Baby Game Day Commercial – Golf Baby” YouTube: E-Trade, 19 Feb. 2010. Web. 8
Mar. 2013.


I don't know what exactly your teacher instructed you to do with citations, but when using MLA you're supposed to indicate inside of text when you use each citation by listing the author and page number if using a book or an article, and if using videos, use the video name or a phrase that will allow the reader to identify the source after the first sentence of using that source. Those are called in text citations. If your teacher didn't mention anything about them ever, you should be fine without them.
The end citations should be:
E-Trade. Golf Baby Advertisement. Youtube, 19 Feb. 2010. Web. 8 Mar. 2013 <enter website address here>.
Also, 2nd and third lines of your citation should be indented.

This post was edited by silentio on May 9 2013 05:56am
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Joined: Jun 9 2007
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May 9 2013 07:06am
let me recommend some minor changes to the good job 'silentio' did:

... how easy it was[for it]to save money, while using a perfect amount of humor. E-Trade does advertising right using ‘baby related’ humor as well askeeping each commercial interesting

... E-Trade's 2013 Super Bowl ...


plus there is a lot of confusion between singular and plural when talking about E-trade
in the first paragraph it's singular, in the second mainly plural but inconsistent

This post was edited by brmv on May 9 2013 07:06am
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Joined: Mar 13 2013
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May 11 2013 08:46pm
good job

This post was edited by wsglendale818 on May 11 2013 08:47pm
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