Quote (xMest @ Sat, Apr 25 2009, 09:54pm)
most of you have tried telling me what to do; and what not to do.
yes it's true, I've tried 2 kill myself not twice, but 5 times.
and no; nothing you all said meant shit to me except for one~aaron aka neutral@jsp
the truth though, is here.
yes - I had planned to go on with it.
I knew there was nothing left, I sat silently crying in my room deciding when.
and then jess imd me and talked to me.
it wasn't the end for me it seems, she has a way with words and the care she has.
but I didn't realize that,
until I talked..the longest time ever today with aly.
...of all the problems I've had in the past; she hit me the most of all; the past was the past; being with her brought up so much...and yet she still..out of every1..says this
Alyssa says:
*NO I WONT u cant sit there nd tell to stop caring when i fkkn wont stop caring!!nd it means i like u as a bf nd a friend:x
*do u understand y im so confused all the time?!!
*=[
~ says:
*because you can't figure out which way u want to go?
Alyssa says:
*YES!
~ says:
*ever wish we never met
Alyssa says:
*i never for once second wish tht at all
Alyssa says:
*idk......im just sayin i'll always be here for u no matter what u decide to do or decide where u go i'll always have u in my<3
out of all the people here...out of "all my friends" even christine, you all decided to desert me.
you didn't even think I was serious, I didn't expect you to insult me, I didn't want you to help me.
I wanted you gooks to accept the choice I was going to make, no matter what it was.
3 of you gooks besides aly did the thing I wanted the most.
and they have all my respect.
1) Aaron aka neutral@jsp
2) Kevin aka Vorrentk
3) Jeet..
I just left for a bike ride about 2 miles to the gas station, and 2 back.
in this time I've been thinking, I'm done with jsp.
and I'm done with most of you.
If I ever get the feeling to go back on jsp, I'm going to get myself banned, other then that I won't be posting anymore.
I may log on to troll, but if I feel the urge 2 post I'd rather just get banned.
very few people will be able to keep in contact with me.
I'm blocking every1 on my aim/msn except for a few people;
vorrent
liam
jessica
jorge
levi - well we hardly talk anymore so it doesn't matter i guess ;x
al
aaron
cory
casey
the rest of you gooks can fuck yourself;
and to the people who think just because christine now hates me,
that I'm going to post everything we ever talked about, and expose her.
fuck yourselfs.
and there's one good bye I wanna make; and one fuck you to 2 people.
good bye to ang
and the biggest fuck you to the person who made my time here annoying as fuck;
though this goes against everything above.
fuck you jeet.
to everyone else.
enjoy your peace time; come 12:00 tonight I'm out of here for good.
you're to much of a pussy to do it
we'll see ya tomorrow