hi i want to learn a martial art for self-defense.. there are lots of classes available in my area but not sure what to sign up for.. what would you suggest..

help the lady out bro

Get lost

im thinking something where upper-body strength wont matter as much?

Judo/bjj all day

For striking:

boxing/ muay thai

For grappling & takedowns:

wrestling/ bjj/ sambo

If MMA classes are available, then take them too.

There are weaknesses in each martial art. It’s not enough to know only one.
The most dangerous fighter is a well rounded fighter.

For the street, most people can’t fight. Boxing is more than enough for them.
But you never know if the fight is going to ground. It makes sense to at least know one grappling martial art. Furthermore, street fighting is dangerous and people die. Avoid it unless there is no other way.

Bjj

Sumo for a big fat gal

is there any like.. non-violent martial art?

yeah, all of them