I'm here to sadly inform you that it isn't really me playing with you right now on Reach. It's my cousin.

Love,
Drew

hehe... ssbb? just got it

Wow. This whole time making sweet love to a complete stranger.

Dearest Kerither,

I am glad to tell you that I was playing with you on the countdown game. I also want to tell you that I am sorry for betraying you twice and my cousin wishes to continue your escapade together.

Love,
Drew

Dearest Drewbear,

Your cousin is better than you. Unfortunately, I pulled a muscle carrying his and your immense weight. I will be on later after I have stretched and iced it.

Sincerely,

Keith

Dearest Deep Voice Bandit,

Fuck You. I haven't played Halo since I was the one carrying you to your multiple 50s in Halo 3.

Sincerely,
The Dreskinator

Dear D20,

Where's my money bitch?

Sincerely, Stewart Gilligan Griffin

Dear Halo series,

Fuck yo couch

That is all

Dear Doug,

I miss the times we had of you carrying me. That is all

Sincerely,
Puffin