God forbid you put on ten pounds of fat, wheels. You could cut granite with your chin.

I've been slowly consuming a 25 lb box of Reese's minis and become somewhat fatter since purchasing it.

Ribs. You need to eat ribs.

Where I live, the nearest BBQ place worth a damn is an hour away.

Chilis ribs are the best ribs within a reasonable distance..

Will trade good ribs for, uh, drugs? You're in college right? I could flip some Adderall pretty easily.

I don't think I'll be needing Adderall after all. I'm just going to consume 10 5-hour energies to gain 50 hours of continuous energy and get my final papers done (to quote CAH)

Living in the seafood capital of America? Yeah, okay. I visited my folks in September and had seafood 11 out of 11 days. Hard to get fat off fish and crustaceans

no it isnt

Nobody needs Adderall.

What kind of pathetic midwesterner are you!??!?

If you don't post a picture of yourself eating a dinner plate sized tenderloin within the next 24 hours I'll have to revoke your meat card. Rules are rules.