Quote (Caedus @ Apr 22 2016 08:34pm)
If a friend or a loved one seems upset about something, or seems like they are not acting the same, please do something about it. My best friend in the world just killed himself, and I knew something was wrong but never did enough to help. He's been battling depression and social anxiety since he was 15 and we used to talk about how he felt but he just stopped talking about it 6 years ago and would insist he was fine if we asked, except when he would have an depressive episode he'd open up then just shut down again. I tried to help and to encourage him to do something but I never went so far to actually get him help. He said in his note (a text to me) he felt so alone and that nothing was ever going to change so he just wanted to make the pain go away. He said sorry he ever bothered me this stuff. He said to forget about him. But I can't. I'm so upset. I hate myself for not seeing it. I hate myself for not seeing how bad it was. He just started a great job and finally started going with a girl he's been in love with since university. But I never saw it...I should have done something. I failed him and I'll never be able to fix it. Idk why I'm even posting this here. Idk what to do. I hate suicide. I've thought about it lots before and it's one of the reasons I got rid of all my guns but that doesn't stop it. We have to fix what actually causes it and idk how to do that :(
That's awful, I'm really sorry... try not to put it on yourself though, we like to believe we can fix these kinds of things, but it's just not that simple. Based on what you said, you were a good friend and it's not much use to wonder what more you could have done to help.