Tried disabling enhancements, reinstalling drivers, running diagnosis, even reformatted... Twice... Nada.

It'll register my mic but won't pick up sound. My blue yeti works just fine. It's a brand new headset too. Literally worked just fine then one day bam, nothing.

probably broken then

But it picks up the mic.

try it on another pc, but its not hard for them to just break.
quite common, thus people suggest dedicated mics, liek ur yeti.

First mistake you did was to buy headset.

Does it not work on anything? I have issues with overwatch for example, but it works fine on discord

Welp all of a sudden it decides to come back on and work. Wtf...

i'd trashit before it breaks again

Sounds like a possible intermittent connection issue with the wire and or solder in the headset. At the very least id exchange it.