I like the dood rappin. Good voice. Doesn't sound put on. The production is everything in most modern rap since they use very little musical input, so this version of the song is lacking heavily where this style of music is generally recognized. There is something to be said about a low-fi product, gives it a from the heart and wholesomeness but if that's the case and this isn't supposed to be a big sounding production and more of a song, then it's missing a motif. As is, the song needs a hook to leave behind. The guitar is pretty, but not catchy. Either a second guitar or synth (?) to play a simple melody, or a sung refrain. After listening to this song, I don't remember anything. After listening to Hey Ya, I remember the little "bleep bleep bleep bleep" mofit. Or the catchy, "Hey Ya." Weather or not your audience likes it, is up to them, but if you add that, those who do like it need something to recreate after they've heard to it.
Do you have a lot of subs in your studio, or is the bass cranked on the speakers? There's hardly any bottom end in this mix.