Some nights i stay up a little too late
Trying to escape the feeling which occurs when we separate
attempting to find that piece of mind
that only comes when you've arrived
you've shown me how it feels to be in love
and for those who can't tell
read whats above
together, what you and i share
is untouchable, almost too much for me to bare


---------------------

Sittin here puffin on a cigarette
sooner or later
its gonna make me regret
and somedays its hard not to think
what tomorrow will bring
were all held captive by our own thoughts
eventually you'll realize the pain you brought
i dont blame you
i love you just as much
so much i feel it is too good to be true

is this not worth commenting?

One has 9 lines, the other 10. Unless you have a really nice meter in mind, this sucks big time.

This post was edited by Uytendaaltje on Jan 18 2010 02:47pm

They are two different poems, dumbsh*t. And poems don't need to conform to strict structures that songs may have to.

me> you

I liked the first one, keep on writing

Yeah but, me>you.

Proof:

http://forums.d2jsp.org/topic.php?t=39134292&f=187
http://forums.d2jsp.org/topic.php?t=39082199&f=187

thanks bud

Tired of being alone
trying to hide the pain you once shown
constantly checking the time
miniute after minute
you plan your next crime
telling yourself you want out of this cruel world
no longer can absorb the pain and cold
as it pierces your confidence and skin
wanting to live the life
that you've never attempted to begin
lost the touch to ever make another friend
wishing that all this would end
with the happiness you desire
seems impossible
with the low self esteem
that feeds your fire

eat it kid
i'll tear you apart