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Sep 12 2008 04:54pm
THIS IS NOT MY BEAT SO DON'T STEAL IT, I GIVE NOONE PERMISSION.. if you wanna use it ask him yourself.. lol





a start to it all.. almost done with the first verse..

kaya (my sister) do you even remember when your father was alive?
do you remember his anger, his pain, but his sensitive side?
i don't think you do, i don't think you ever have, cause you were only 2 when he passed.
i feel so bad, you'll never meet the one you used to call dad
if only you could remember what i now call the past
i still remember his yell to his laugh, his spelling to his math
and you were the only thing left that he had, besides his gun and a pocket full of crack
it's just a damn shame that he had to go out like that...
it's sad when i can say he was the best father figure i ever had, better than my own dad...
i remember this one time he robbed some store guess what he grabbed
diapers and baby forumula, not cash, for his baby daughter at home screamen for her dad...



please be respectful.. it's all a true story but i would like some constructive criticism so far cause I'm at the point where i can still change things around and what not. the story behind it is, my mom dated him when they were in highschool, he went to jail for like 14 years or something crazy like that for accidentally killing someone. when he got out, they had my half sister. about 2 ish years later he died on an OD in one of his scumbag friends house. now my sister is 7.

This post was edited by element104954 on Sep 12 2008 04:55pm
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Sep 13 2008 12:35am
Create your own beat. Will be much better.
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Sep 13 2008 03:44am
Sucked.
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Sep 13 2008 05:51am
Quote (Audio @ Sat, 13 Sep 2008, 02:35)
Create your own beat. Will be much better.


atm, I'm just making a non-profitable mix-tape so if i were to learn how to make my own beats at this point in time, it's a waste imo. eventually i'll make my own or have my buddy make em in the long run who knows.
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Sep 13 2008 08:43am
It's nice ^^
Please don't get offended but..
It seems you're trying to sound like Eminem..
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Sep 13 2008 01:33pm
Quote (masUn47 @ Sat, Sep 13 2008, 06:43am)
It's nice ^^
Please don't get offended but..
It seems you're trying to sound like Eminem..


Eminen is a better role-model than Lil' Wayne.

This post was edited by AlbinoBlackMan on Sep 13 2008 01:33pm
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Sep 13 2008 01:43pm
The beat sucks really bad. Your lyrics need to be refined - they don't flow as they are.
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Sep 13 2008 06:04pm
Quote (Jebsus @ Sat, 13 Sep 2008, 15:43)
The beat sucks really bad. Your lyrics need to be refined - they don't flow as they are.


i actually like the beat :/

the lyrics i know dont flow fully yet, i gotta revise em still.. i just kept typing.
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Sep 13 2008 07:52pm
hey, great job with this element.
I like the lyrics.
gl.
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Sep 13 2008 08:58pm
great lyrics
try to work on the beat and definitly continue wink.gif
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