Sometimes I feel its ok to go off beat, especially if your're stringing the same rhyme scheme in rapid succession. Thanks for all the feedback guys, I'll have some more songs up eventually, been ridiculously busy lately but I finally secured a good job so I'm going to be investing in some recording equipment in the coming months.

Just finished a third track, Instrumental: Drake - Fancy.

Lyric sneak peek:
you in the hotels, hot tubs and bell hops,
you got the fancy smoke, amounts that make the scale stop,
you love your life but you feel as if somethings missing,
you lack the drive to succeed and i aint even forget it,
i love the way that you want it and the way that i need it,
i wont stop until i got it all, im just fucking greedy,
i want more, need more, never had enough,
when you're this dedicated people tend know its bad as fuck
haters could be a red octagon, they aint stopping shit
im not good with money i just know i need a lot of it
locked in my mind, feel like i've done time,
i've learned to be dependable like a sunrise
i stay positive and god damnit i stay high
the second you lose your belief in your selfs the second you die
you take tough shots, you don't just happen to ball,
because if you dont go out and get it wont happen at all

Waiting to get my mic back or buy a new one, I'll have this up by next weekend and possibly 1-2 more tracks.
In the mean time you can support me by viewing/liking/subscribing. If I actually get some interest I'll work on putting out mix tapes and songs every few days.

good beat

but was not a fan of the lyrics nor flow

just imo everyone has their own taste in rap.

Thanks for the feed back. I'm going to upload another song when i get a mic (Thursday), and I'd like to know what you think.
I really think I stepped it up with this one, and there's more already written ready to be recorded. Mostly Drake instrumentals that I'm going to put together as a mixtape.

with my music, i listen to the flow and not the lyrics so if you're looking for lyrical help, sorry
as for the flow, here's my take on it

0:00-0:36 intro, no comments
0:36-0:42 this was a little messy for me. i like my flow rhythmic and you were alternating between clauses ranging from 2 to 4 beats
0:42-1:02 flow here was good. 4 beats per clause and good working mixing the rhymes within the beats
1:02:1:11 this was really messy. not a fan of mashing more syllables into a beat that doesn't fit it
1:11-1:26 another nice segment. im digging the words linking separate phrases

anyway, you catch my drift
what i like: clear spitting, i like rap where i can understand clearly what they're saying
what i don't like: the flow, for the most part

i suggest picking a backing track, figure out the beats per phrase (its 4 beats for phrase for this particular beat) and try to work your lyrics to fit those phrases. if you have more syllables than available beats, work with triplets or quadruplets
triplet example: listen to 0:51 here http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rrs0vgRQB5Q to get an idea. pretty shitty beat, but his flow's real nice

This post was edited by rko_evolution on Jul 1 2012 08:18pm

loved the video that you linked, and thanks for the feedback.
i think you'll find syllables and beats coordinating much more and much more smoothly in my next upload.